NEW BLOG

http://23cents.blogspot.com

The Buck Stops Here.

121st Entry.

Last Entry.

Well, I feel that I have given an Emmy-winning performance as a soap opera star featurin my own life, with me as myself. Enough of this.

But, as one McArthur said, I shall return.

I shall perhaps start a new blog, unencumbered by the admittedly large baggage found here. Although, I do feel like I have said some things worthwhile here. Check out my favorite posts. *Wink*

As it stands, my first blog- now archived and a part of my net history.

This Is The Border

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So.. My last entry, so long ago. My previous entries all starting to look like a rotting pile of crap.

Just like I'm letting my life rot away.

:)

Apathy? Burnout?

I. Just. Don't. Care.Enough. Anymore.

The LaSallian Summer Workshop

April 29 - May 2, 2006.

I never expected to get so much from this summer workshop with the staff of The LaSallian (our school paper, FYI).

For one, I met a lot of interesting people and new friends. I learned a lot of things, too. AND got to live in a great villa and eat great food for a few days. All for free. Hehe.

So now, I'm back. And I'm raring to go back to our office!

More in detail, next post. Meanwhile, PICS!

http://jenoosia.multiply.com/photos/album/2

Videos coming soon to a YouTube near you.

Still Musing

On my right, I have two phones. My cellphone lies beside me. In front of me is the computer. I have Yahoo messenger, MSN. I have my Friendster account open. A blog full of links sits waiting in the other tab of my Firefox browser. I have bookmarks of Multiply, of YouTube right before my eyes. I have no lack of tools- yet there is only dead air for companionship.

Dead air and my songs. It's so ironic that I can find no solace in the bleeping world of the Internet, where it seems so easy to connect to everyone else. So many tools for communication, yet nothing to communicate, no one to communicate with.

I've always had a certain aversion to talking with people who aren't right in front of me. Yes, I hate talking on the phone. I tire of text messaging. Instant messengers are bearable, but they have had their fair share of letdowns.

It's so easy to communicate with another person. Yet at the same time, it's hard to start when you feel so distant to the people you are trying to reach out to.

There's more to this entry than what's written, but I can't express it in words anymore. Maybe it's just the overall mood I'm in right now. Memory's a bad bad thing. You can't remember stuff, then you suddenly can't forget things you want to forget.
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It's hard for people, especially me, to stop thinking about their reputations. We naturally fear being outcasts. But that's the source of a lot of our problems. Even people we don't know can affect our thoughts, our moods, our actions. Everyone we think of can cast a shadow on us,even when they don't know it or don't know us.

We build up this certain image we want to show other people, people we want to like us. This image becomes so huge that we become incessantly worried that it will collapse and reveal us for what we really are- our true imperfect selves.
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If only I could say everything I wanted to say without fear of the backlash and reactions.

As it is, only through WinAmp can I release all the pent-up emotions I have inside of me.

Just Musing

Everyone says anyone who looks at the outside prettiness of people are SHALLOW persons. I beg to disagree. If God made people beautiful, there has to be a reason. The reason being so that 2 persons may be attracted to one another and form a bond. Which strengthens or weakens over time depending on their chemistry. Simply put, beauty is the first step towards a relationship.

It's also beautiful to note that beauty is in the eye of the beholder- thus, everyone is beautiful to someone. Everyone's happy, then.

Of course, I could be dead wrong. Then I'd be the only one who'd still be happy. :)
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Eight days of waking up at 5:30 am and groggily getting on the LRT is finally over. I had a ton of fun, though. It's been a pleasure working with the whole EA staff, a pleasure seeing our work positively impact a lot of the campers.

Being a former summer camper myself, I must say that they had more fun this year than I did during 2004. :( Not that it wasn't fun back then, but we didn't have Pasicatchan. It's too bad, but what's important was the friends I got from the camp. Love you guys!

Today's for a bit of rest, then it's summer workshop time tomorrow 'til May 2 for The LaSallian. It might sound tedious except for one thing- We're going to Mimosa Leisure Park in Clark Field! This is going to be one fun workshop.. I hope.
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People always say that mistakes are lessons that can teach us a lot of valuable things. As they say, if people don;t make mistakes, how will they ever learn. I contend: If people do not make mistakes, then they don't need to learn anything. What use is a lesson if you don't need it?

Of course, we're talking about a perfect world where people do not make mistakes, so people have to make mistakes. I contend: Say "Learn to recognize your mistakes" instead.
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I'm bored.

Now That I Have DSL...

Post It Note to Myself: Blog about the "3 Things"
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Anyways, I've finally got photo and video sharing available since I got DSL (YEY!)

Here are my photos on Flickr (Try it, it's nice)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/49341930@N00/

And my videos on YOuTube

http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=jenoosia

Have fun :)

And please leave a comment. :)

I'm in a Musical!

Granted, it's an amateur one.

And the video's low-res.

And you can't actually see my "acting" expression.

But it's me in the male lead!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-v2RjdC3WUM

Talk Shows on Moot

"Come one, come all, into 1984..."

There's nothing to talk about when life today mirrors life yesterday. Yet there's everything to talk about. Because life today is still as weirdly fascinating as life yesterday. All life is the same, yet all life is different. All these paradoxes come to a moot point, yet all these make for interesting discussion.

Making something out of nothing is supposed to be God's work, but I think humans inherited something from the Pop Up Above- the ability to keep life interesting even when it isn't.

When I look at my life, I see all sorts of cycles and redundancies and repeating events. All sorts of problems and dilemmas rehashed, repackaged into something seemingly different. At the core, though, it's all the same.

But the human condition has always been adaptation. Talk shows with the same topics cast in a different light. Cast with different actors, in different settings.

So, day in and day out, because all life is the same, all life is interesting.
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Again I am gripped with infatuation which I know will soon be nothing more than a distant memory. Yet I make my own life interesting (and headache-inducing) thinking and thinking, when I know what the end result will be.

Is it a case of not learning my lesson? Probably. I guess one of my weaknesses are my emotions.

And it's all her fault- just because she had to have those striking eyes, the cutest button nose- and that incredible smile.

~DLSU CCS Summer Camp '06 Memory~

Palaging Bigo

Ako'y palaging bigo... sa dress code.

Not-So-Dramatic Translation: I always fail to follow the dress code.

Is it me or is it just fate/destiny? Let's see.. I wake up on Monday and get ready to go to the Summer Camp like normal, then when I get there, I suddenly remember everyone was suppose to use their summer camp shirt.

I resolved to do better today, so I listened carefully. First we were supposed to wear semi-formal attire, but then it got changed to "smart-casual." I didn't know what the hell smart-casual was, so someone told me (and everyone else in the room). Quoting him: "Jeans plus a polo plus leather shoes. At least something with a collar."

I showed up exactly in smart-casual attire- everyone else wore semi-formal.

Story of my life.

Old Love Songs, Past Memories, Thinking Out Loud

I can't think of anything to write.

Not that I don't have anything to write- it's the exact opposite. I have a lot of things I can write about. It's just that everything's crowding around in my mind all at the same time. It's weird, this.

Not 30 minutes ago, my mind was clear- blank, even. But it only takes a moment, and poof- the mind is overflowing. Mostly, they're thoughts on the past and future.

It may be a permanent human condition to relive the past. After all, memories are always with us. Unless you're an amnesiac- then you don't count. Sometimes, certain things will trigger that sudden outpouring of memories. It looks like something has made the dam (read: my mind) burst.

Mostly, I'm thinking about relationships I've had.. Or haven't had. I'm guessing it's this stage in life when I feel that I have to be in a relationship (of the "couple" kind) which makes up the source of my problem- and my thoughts. Perhaps it's a given that teenage hormones have had some say in what I'm feeling, but I've recognized that it's mostly because my nature is this way.

Perhaps I may be moving too fast. But it's just in me to be a romantic. I want to share with you (whoever you may be) a dream.. or wish, of mine.

Most people want to leave their mark on this world before they pass away and go to wherever. I partly want that, too. But what I really want to do before I die is to get married. Yes, you read that right. I want to get married before I die. I want to "love"- in the traditional, stereotypical sense. That's because I've read that you can't get married anymore in heaven.

There are a lot of things I can live without having to experience, but marriage ("love") is not one of them. IT's surprising. Haha, but that's just me. Maybe I grew up reading too many love stories. (I don't know, I've forgotten a lot.)

So like most of the teenage guys in the world, I'm also girl-crazy. Only I want a deeper relationship. But that doesn't mean I'm not shallow at times. I can be quite shallow, anyone who knows me can attest to that, but I've also longed for a serious relationship.

College has given me a lot of options, a lot of freedoms. It's an introduction to a world where you make your own decisions, and you face the consequences of your decisions. It's a learning experience, but it's not risk-free learning. Already I've gone down some roads that I regret. Already I've taken some paths, made some decisions that hurt.

When you take my deep romanticism and mix it with sudden freedom, what results might be the current state of my life. A trail of destruction.

But things are looking up. I'm learning the virtue of prudence.. I hope. I'm on the right track in my studies and other activities. I'm mending, or trying to mend, broken relationships.

But even though I know it's illogical, what really bugs me is that I haven't found the "one" yet. Naivety and impatience have yet to be unlearned.

And that's the closest I can come to untangling my convoluted thoughts, brought about by old love songs.

Delayed - Permanently

It's been a while (understatement) since I last posted. Heck, it's been a while since I last surfed the Internet. Crappy time to be disconnected, too. I missed a lot of stuff because: 1.) PLDT Vibe is a crap ISP and 2.) The phone line I'm supposed to use for my DSL sonnection has too many connections, thus the signal is "diffused."

The Internet has been delayed- just like my life.

My third term of college was supposed to be the carefree one, because I'd have already adjusted to the pace of college life. Fat chance, it turned out. Maybe I did too many things at the same time.

[Things I Did At The Same Time]
1. Study
2. Write for The LaSallian
3. Attend leadership training during Saturdays
4. Community service during saturdays (!!)
5. Apply for a position as External Affairs Staff of our college (late in the term)
6. Play video games

As is the natural order of things, I was forced to devote my time to 2 or 3 (Maybe FOUR, bUt CeRtAinLy NOT mOrE!) things, and I ended up doing a gosh darn incredibly, mind-boggling-ly hideous job of juggling them all.

I didn't do well in my studies (incredible understatement), I spent too little time at the newspaper, I skipped attending the seminars, and I missed a lot of staff meetings becaause I wasn't doing well in my studies.

Okay, time to stop borrowing laptops from people in the office, now.

SO there you have it. Life has been delayed permanently.

Support Good Grammar (Not Grandma)

Yeah, yeah, the Grandma part's corny.

But the message remains the same: Support Good Grammar.

All too often, too many people posting stuff on the Internet use "txt speak" to communicate. Realize this: Your words are not restricted to whoever you're sending the message to. We too can read that eyesore of a post. Make life easier for everyone, and use proper English.

Harvard-Grade Student

Oedipus and his ancient story is given a new twist in an essay produced by one of the most striking student minds.

See it. Read it. Weep in the throes of emotion.

The Immortal Essay

Some days just aren't your days

I was listening to I'm All Out of Love in my WinAmp. I was typing my blog entry for today here while simultaneously reading message board posts on Dota-Allstars.com.

Then my computer restarted because my video card messed up. What a darn shame, huh?

To think that today, out of all days, I had finally resolved to write about something other than my oh-so interesting life. Then things like this happen.

Oh well, what can I do? I can't turn back time, now can I?

Here's what millions of my adoring fans (joking) will miss because of an erring computer.

A Re-telling of Grimm's Fairy Tales - Part 1
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Highlights of my re-telling (that got erased):
1. Snow White is a guy.
2. The Queen banishes Snow White because Snow White refused to commit incest with her.
3. The seven dwarves were female.
4. They weren't miners, they were security guards.
5. They carried sawn-off shotguns.

I only got up to this part, then hell broke loose. SIgh.

Maybe I'll make a Part 2 instead, this time, with proper backup.

The Day is Young

There's something oddly calming in walking through DLSU in the early morning.

The dawn hours allow fresh sunshine (if sunshine can be called fresh, anyway) to shine through. I often turn meditative during times like these, when there are only a few people milling about, and it seems like the whole university is mine alone. It's a time like this when I'm glad I'm here, in this school. The critics say that DLSU is small, puny even, when compared to other universities. Yet, it's this school's compactness which makes me feel that we are a community.

I pass by every college building on my way to Planet Gox. That's the price of being a computer science major here. My building is on the other end of La Salle. But an early morning walk reveals a lot of things lost in the hustle and bustle of college life. It's Saturday, and the crowds are gone. I can smell the dew on the trees, I can hear the sounds of my footsteps echoing in silent halls.

Everything seems so ethereally beautiful, bathed in the warm glowing light of the morning sun.

Excerpts from ID# 10536272

Same old thing, day in and day out. Toot goes the scanner, in goes the student. Toot goes the scanner, in goes the student. It's become as much a part of life as, say, brushing teeth. Same old, same old. Open your bags, please.
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jenoosia: Case 1 : kanina naka shackles si centaur na kakampi ko, tinoss ko sya kay rhasta, ung shackles umangat, as in pa effect.
jenoosia: Case 2 : Tinarget ko si Drow ng toss, si Nerubian Sin (omar) ung na toss ko sa kanya, sabay mana burn na lumilipad.
jenoosia: Case 3 : Tinapon ko ung kalaban namin ni Kel, pero si Kel naka patay, may lumutang na +100.
jenoosia: Case 4 : Tinapon ko si Nerub Sin sabay Cyclone ni Rhasta, At the top of the toss na suspend in mid air si nerub.
jenoosia: Case 5 : Pagka BurrowStrike ni SandKing tinoss ko ung creep, lumabas isang sobrang taas na spike sa lupa. Parang eiffel tower na spike kumbaga.

DotA.

Frickin' Defense of the Frickin' Ancients. (Omit the F's, if you will.) Addicting- nauseatingly so. DotA. Just like Counter-Strike during the grade school days. Just like Ragnarok during the high school days. Bane to schoolwork, boon to a young mind in search of relief from everyday toil.

1, 2, 3.. Oh, 500 games played, more or less. P50, P100, the whole DLSU tuition fee wasted, or rather, "invested" into something only minds such as this generation can comprehend.

Yet, if nothing else, pinpoint micromanagement leading to a game-winning play serves to feed an ego constantly in need of feeding. Now if only the girls can appreciate such grace in a game.
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Extracurricular Activities Running Total:

1. Writer, The LaSallian.
2. External Affairs Staff, College of Computer Studies.
3. Participant, Young Executive Series.
4. Member, La Salle Computer Society; Moomedia; ENGLICOM.

Status:

1. Writer - Negative hours of residency required. No communication with editor whatsoever. Proud of latest article: first main article written solo flight. No word when issue will be released yet. Afraid to show face in office due to long absence caused by certain videogame.

2. EA Staffer - Rocky road. Unsure of future stint. Application accepted but still in process of proving self worthy. Staff head has high hopes that can only end in the trashpile along Agno Street.

3. Y.E.S. - Never mind.

4. Member - Hoped to be active. Still inactive. Hoped to have an officership. Still an unknown.

Scoreboard: 0/4

Concluding Remarks: Life as a Frosh, WASTED.
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Speaking of School Studies:

Bachelor of Science in Computer Science, major in Software Technology.

in reality,

Bachelor of Bumming in Computer Shops, major in Cramming Technology.
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Genuine, 100% Certified Fat Guy.

Confirmed by 2 people, one of whom said Fat Guy has only met a few times in a computer store.

Gut hangs out like a melon. Practicing chest out, stomach in, prowess.
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Said Fat Guy cannot hope to win a heart of a fair maiden because of mediocre looks. Having a melon-shaped gut helps things, A LOT.

Said Fat Guy resolves that by next term, Gut has been divided into 4 chiseled abs, or at least one lean gut.
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Speaking of fair maidens:

They catch the eye of many males. Too many males. That is all this guy has to say.
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Dear Mr. Ledger,

How does it feel French kissing a full-blooded male? Is the moolah worth the sensation of a man's tongue poking around the inside of the velveteen inner lining of your mouth? Is the fame worth the said foreign tongue scraping against your teeth, tickling the roof of yon mouth?

Honestly, this guy is just curious.

Sincerely,
XXXXXX
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This guy likes Orange and Lemons. This guy likes Spongecola. This guy, heaven knows, like Cueshe, and their single, Ulan. This guy has grown uncomfortable talking with people whose tastes vary so far from his own. This guy faces being labeled as a poser.

This guy hates people who hate other people for being posers but pose as bad-mouthed ghetto people themselves. This guy hates this kind of people most especially found in blogs overpopulated with expletives.

THis guy likes people who take into consideration other people's feelings. Yet this guy is cruel, sometimes. This guy may hate himself, but more often, this guy pities himself.

THis guy often wonders why, if everyone says he looks like a hunky blockmate, does this guy not inherit even an iota of said hunk's sex appeal.
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TO Whom It May Concern:

I briefly felt caring (female) hands touch mine while I was waiting for a ride home. Though just an old acquaintance from a high school. It felt very alien, being in physical contact.
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Rule of thumb: If you've got a bad feeling, it probably will come through.
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Dear Mr. Gyllenhaal,

Hope I spelled your name correctly. How many times did you rehearse for the kissing scene? Did it ever feel natural? Is Mr. Ledger's mouth tasty?

Just curious, sir. Seeing as I haven't kissed anyone, yet.

P.S. How many other male actors do you think have a mouth worth locking lips with?

Sincerely,
XXXXXX
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Emo Stuff That's Funny Reading:

(Requested by someone on the chatbox.)

Sigh, why can't I find the courage to talk to her? Sometimes, I see her in PE class, all alone, and I keep wondering why she is, because if I was her friend, I fail to see a reason why I shouldn't spend as much time as possible with her. Of course, it could mean that she's taken, maybe by her friend, Mr. LoveIsBlind.

Sometimes I glance at her in DASALGO, sometimes our eyes meet. I always think to myself that I sensed a spark there. If only one or the other would initiate it. But sadly, that part of my life is still closed.

Or maybe I'm just imagining things.
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--->
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Lucky Michael Jackson, all he had to decide was whether to turn completely white from black, or just get his nose fixed.
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--->

Raindrops Fallin' On My Head

It's been a while since I last posted. Perhaps it's the gosh-darn hectic pace of life, perhaps I'm just lazy. I've done so many things that I'm still reeling. Right now though, there's a bit of a rest from turbulence. Time off to take a breath. I'm not yet in the clear, though. There's still a ton of work to do, and I'm not looking forward to it.

Just an update to let random passersby know that I'm still alive. It'll take me a few days to get up the energy to write something substantial.

Raindrops keep falling on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin’ seems to fit
Those raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling

So I just did me some talkin’ to the sun
And I said I didn’t like the way he’ got things done
Sleepin’ on the job
Those raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling

But there’s one thing I know
The blues he sends to meet me won’t defeat me
It won’t be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep falling on my head
But that doesn’t mean my eyes will soon be turnin’ red
Crying’s not for me
Cause I’m never gonna stop the rain by complainin’
Because I’m free
Nothing’s worrying me.

Writer's Block

Because of writer's block, I have not:

1. Written my article about Taglish for The LaSallian, which is due tomorrow...

2. Blogged about Mike Enriquez and community service, and...

3. Typed an article I'm going to enter in a contest of a newspaper.

Perhaps tomorrow will work out differently. I hope.

Pressure Valve

I'm under a lot of pressure.

Let's see, there's the writing contest I've been meaning to mail an entry to. Then there's the article I have to write for The LaSallian. Then I've got 2 quizzes to study for this Monday and Wednesday. On top of that, I have to pass a case study in our Data Structures subject, and a project proposal for my Object Oriented Programming class. Whew.

And to finish it off, I've got so many meetings to attend during the week, most of them at night. Guess that's why I haven't had a chance to update my blog in a while.

There's a good pressure valve I can use to release all the pressure I have inside me. That pressure valve is hard work.

I can get down to business and finish doing a lot of things tonight. I might even have some free time tomorrow night if I do so.

However, try as I might, I just can't turn the valve. Inherent laziness always triumphs. So you see, instead of doing my homework, I'm sitting in front of a keyboard and typing in my blog.

Touche.

Featured Blog [1] : The Diaries of an Allergic Reaction

[Note]
I've decided to start a new "topic" (for lack of a better term) in my blog. Every few days, I'm going to be featuring a blog which I think is pretty darn cool. So it starts.
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"Memories are just like that:
They linger when the person can't."

Being a voracious reader, most of the time I spend on the Internet are on blogs and other written articles I find interesting. I stumbled across this blog a few days ago, and I find myself quite addicted to it.

Raiza Katrina Abubakar's blog seems at first glance a typical girl's blog. Yes, I know I'm sometimes guilty of preconceived judgments (It's my horrible secret). Anyway, once you look (and read) deeper though, you'll find that the thoughts her blog contains are very profound, and very well written. I took the quote above from one of her old posts. Just one of the many lines that will strike out at you from the screen.

Aside from that, her style is solid and unconfused. She writes as only a person with very strong and honest opinions can, and that makes her entries at once serious and humorous. There will come a time a few minutes after you start reading, when you'll suddenly smile at the wistful craziness of life, as seen from her own eyes.

And for aspiring writers (like myself), we can't help but feel a twinge of admiration for a fellow writer who has made her mark in the world with her own unique style of storytelling.

At times crazy fun, at times thoughtful, at time provocative, at times heartwarming- you'll need to use the full range of your emotions when you read The Diaries of an Allergic Reaction.

Visit her blog.

http://www.tabulas.com/~machiavelli03

Something Quirky

My friend Wale found a weird blog by an anonymous guy.

Check him out.

He's really got something quirky going on in his blog. Check out the comments, too.

I only wish my site traffic could equal even half of his. Sigh.

Blast from the Past?

Because my Yahoo Messenger suddenly went on the blink, I checked my Firendster account, something I don;t usually do that often.

And..

You know, this is the first time I've realized the power of Friendster.

Sure, sure, it's cool and fun, and friend-ly, but.. what's the use? I can't see the usefulness of the site, although I love playing videogame. (Maybe it's a priorities issue?)

But then, a distant friend suddenly sent me a friend request. After 5+ years of not seeing each other, I was really kinda surprised.

"Woah!" was my first reaction.

"Aww" was my second delayed reaction. "Aww" not because she remembered me (Although, admitttedly.. Hehe, a little bit), but "Aww" because I thought of all my past friends whom I've lost touch with.

Friendster was just bumped one rank higher on my scale.

Dreaming Up Ideas

In an effort to publicize my blog, I decided to group message my Yahoo Messenger friends about this.

The first effort failed miserably. After a few days, I had the strength to try again. This time it backfired. I forgot that my most recent post was the one below this..

So.

I have a few ideas, including:

1. Emailing everyone in my address book. In my Yahoo and Hotmail accounts.
2. Advertising in all the blogs of all the people I know.
3. Advertising in all the blogs of all the people I don't know but have their addresses.
4. Download a bot that automatically does 2 and 3 for me.
5. Nada..

None of my ideas seem quite... "acceptable."

Oh.. And can anyone dropping by the blog please take a moment to comment? :)

Crushing on Someone

Bit of a Mischievous Post..

I'm like, totally, like, crushin' on like someone in school. Like, Y'know?

Hehe.. You know me, I'm in all respects, a guy, and as guys, we can't help but crush on someone. I don't know about girls, though. I feel bad for them, because compared with girls, guys aren't nearly as attractive. Hehe. ;)

C. is for that CUTE smile she wears whenever I see her,
R. is for those ROSY cheeks that are just begging to be pinched,
A. is for those ARRESTING eyes of hers that lock you into a gaze,
P. is for her PRETTY face, one glimpse of which instantly makes my day,
G. is GOD please help me meet her :)

Hehe... Up for you to fill in the initials of the name.

Oh yeah. My previous Post, In the Trenches, is kinda inspired by her.

College life in DLSU has its perks. :)

Gawad Kalinga?

Who would've thunk it? I mean, sure I've heard of GK a lot of times, and been on a lot of outreaches this past few terms in DLSU, but my GK experience last Saturday really stood out. For one, this was the first outreach where I felt we were making an impact. We were helping the workers build houses for the poor in the area, which was somewhere near Manila Bay. I sweated and I carried and I toiled in the hot sun, and I did see concrete results. I guess that's what made this a different outreach, concrete results.

It was a lot of fun, too. Although even I'm surprised I felt that way.
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I'll stop with my flame war against a certain someone. (See below post)

But I'll say one thing- Some people just aren't worth it.

However, my friend Red is still frolicking in the beaches of Omaha 1945. Goodspeed, PBM.
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Manny Pacquaio TKO'ed Erik Morales in the 10th round of an exciting fight. Proud to be Pinoy :)
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I didn't do any homework this weekend. Typical.

Silly Girl

It just goes to show you that it's totally futile to argue with a silly person. A person who reads with her eyes but understands with her ass. I mean, could I have made myself plainer in my previous post?

Never try arguing with a silly person.
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From: Silly Girl

if u want me to "SHUT UP", mind your own business and leave me alone....

sayo narin nggaling "Ayaw mo lang magpatalo." So as long as hindi nyo ako tinitigilan well, i don't think i'll SHUT THE HELL UP......

you kip on saying stop replying, e anong gngawa mo?!
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This was her reply to my message on the previous post. For the record, I only replied once, AND didn't spam the groups as I directly emailed her instead of posting this in the groups..

Haha. Sometimes you have to find something fun to do. However, once in a while, life throws you a situation like this and all you have to do is enjoy it.

So let's enjoy laughing at a silly girl's antics together, :)

*Flames are welcome. Comments are also welcome. Hehe.

Personal Rant

Taken from my compose mode at Yahoo Mail...
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Just please stop replying already.

Ayaw mo lang magpatalo.

Notice I haven't added any more messages to the groups, and here you are saying we should be good examples. Ano tawag mo sa pagtitigil ko mag reply?

It just bugs me that right after I post a reminder not to sned one liner stuff in the egroups, you replied with not one, but two of them.

So maybe you did reply with two lines instead of one.
Haha. Not.

So, to be rude, para, as you say, TANTANAN ka namin, SHUT THE HELL UP PLEASE.

--- staceyyu wrote:

> Ur askng me not to send spams or whtevr u call it,
> eh ayaw nyo naman
> akong tantanan... ü
>
> if u want me to stop, be a good example and might as
> well stop
> sending spams, comments or whatever....ü
>
> then, I'll shut up..... Ü
>
> --- In catch2T9@yahoogroups.com, MJ Abesamis
> wrote:
> >
> > Quoting two previous messages,
> >
> > Jensen already said something about messages like
> that.. and
> still.. you
> > kept posting SMS-like messages?
> >
> > "Hey I agree with whatever message #xxx said" can
> also
> > be considered spam.
> >
> > can be similar with...
> >
> > "okay.. If that's what you think ^_^"
> >
> > not in sense but, in its category as a spam...
> >
> > that's why Red reacted about your previous
> messages.
> >
> > Not to be rude but.. won't you ever learn?
> >
> > How about reading the messages.. and if you agree,
> and got
> something
> > worthwhile to say or something to add, then
> reply..
> >
> > if you just agree and your idea is that same with
> him.. then..
> don't send a
> > ONE LINER MESAGE..
> >

In the Trenches

The moment dawned when
I looked at her
Cherry-red lips,
Entrancing smile,
Disheveled tresses,
Knowing eyes,
Lithe figure;
And I started to love.

She wound her way
Along the dusty road,
She conversed
In subdued tones,
With her close circle of friends.
She looked
Unaware of
A stranger's longing gaze,
A stranger's wistful smile.

Unreachable. Untouchable.

A war broke out
Over the current state of the nation-
The nation that was my heart.

She had enveloped herself
In a cocoon of friendship-
And in something else-
In love-
In the love of another who felt like me.
She had them all.
Was what
I was planning to do
Breaking that cocoon?

The moment dawned when
I looked at her
Innocent expression,
Radiant aura,
Happy countenance,
Secure life,
Everything,
And I started to love.

And I started to think.

And I ended up
Losing the battle but winning the war.

Author's (This means me) Note: I have my own interpretation of my poem's ending, but feel free to think of it whichever way you want. (As if I could stop you from doing so.) Kel should know who I'm talking about. (Evil grin)

Life is an Ice Cube...

... It will melt eventually, but right now, it's cool.
--------------------------------------------------------

College exposes a person to so many different people. Well, I know college exposed me to a lot. Something just hit me during our Volleyball PE period this afternoon when I made a bit of a fool of myself in front of classmates I don't know. Looking at all the Star Scholars in the place (coincidence or conspiracy?), I've just made the realization that whatever talents I have, there will always be someone who'll be better than me. I may write well, but other people write well AND play the gee-tar AND look good ALL at the same time. I can only write well.

It's a humbling realization, to say the least.

In other news,
Youtube - A Place to Share and Watch Videos

Now this site has been taking a lot of my time, mostly because of my insanely-slow dial-up internet speed. I first learned of this site from a blog entry raving about a video showing someone who beat Emerald Weapon (FF7) in little over a minute. Having watched the video, my jaws dropped. Then I started thinking about videos to watch.

I've just finished watching the ending for Fatal Frame 2, the game that Jon will never finish, because we're all too scared to play it. I must admit though, that the game really good at scaring people. The ending's nice, and the song at the finish was really beautiful (although I couldn't understand what it was saying- Japanese).

I also watched a music video of Buffy the Vampire Slayer maded by a fan, for the fans.

Speaking of Buffy, I really miss the show. The Sooby Gang really helped brighten up some of my drab high school days. I especially like their relationships with each other and the witty banter and situations that crop up inevitably.

To modify a quote in the farewell strip of Peanuts:
"Buffy, Angel, Xander, Willow, Spike, Cordelia, Anya, Tara, Oz, Giles, yes, even Jonathan, the guy who had his own little sidestory drama going on- who can ever forget them?"

Har de Har

Let's see..

I've just finished my first entry in my soon-to-be-revealed fictional blog, although it's only 3 paragraphs. I've managed to make up a rudimentary storyline. Although the story goes as the mood wanders. Har har.

I've got a lot of homework and extracurricular stuff to do, BUT I'm lacking in ambition. I don't have the "drive to strive" (little rhyming fun there, folks). And I've just read in TIME magazine that people with ambition are those we see rise to the top. Maybe so. Help, please?

I want a girlfriend. Har har. ABCD... Har har.
----------------------------------------------

Just something I wanted to share, as this is my first e-group posting in quite a while:
(Taken from my DLSU CCS e-group)

Not to be "rude" (to quote someone here), but some of the past few
messages which are quite SMS-like are the reasons why I check that
little white box next to the daily digest of this e-group and choose
to "Mark it as Read" without even opening it. It's partly why I miss
important announcements, because I simply have no patience wading
through pages of spam to find the announcements.

There's a reason why we have an e-group, to get important
announcements, not to read everyone's opinion on the current hot
topic. If you have something worthwhile to add, it's cool to share,
but if your message is just a reiteration of what has already been
said, with the added bonus of being text-message-like in nature, then
please forget it. Or better yet, post it in our inactive forums where
you can sound off whenever you please.

Just a reminder, then. Not all SPAM are forwarded chain letters.
Messages like "Hey I agree with whatever message #xxx said" can also
be considered spam.

Please be considerate to people who don't relish having to clean their
inboxes 3 times a day just to find an important announcement.
--------------

Har har.

Painted Over

It's already a new year, although I've been a little late in acknowledging it. 15 Days late?

I've grown accustomed to the tone of my blog, sometimes humorous, sometimes cheesy, sometimes enraged, and its look, always dark.

Haha.

So I decided to remake the look of my blog, and here it is. It looks much cleaner and simpler to me. I was guessing an eyesore from the previous look, to be honest. It felt like a stale joke. Now everything feels so... white.

*winks*

Hecticity

Hecticity - The state of being hectic.

E.g. "I have achieved critical hecticity."

Saturdays are 8:00 am - 8:30 pm. Can you believe it?

At least it's fun to chill out on a few selected days of the week a.k.a. weekdays, haha. Haha. Ha. Especially during those classes when that college cutee is a few seats over. Haha. Ha.

I'm planning on making a new blog, this time fictional but sort of a satire on my life or something like it. I'll let everyone know when I make my first "novellablog" entry.

It's kinda tiring to report about My Life Today here in my blog, not to mention redundant. Study, Play games, Talk about girls in general, Make fun of each other.. Blah blah blah, the list goes on. But it repeats. No fun.

Bu a fictional blog of a fictional character might brighten up my mediocre evenings. Hoohoo..

Surf Trip

I didn't have anything to do, I was feeling nostalgic. So I surfed and surfed, starting with blogs and ending with friendster. I miss *some* of the people whose net life I visited.

Some of the sites I visited:

• Ralph's Blog (still Kobe, still in Canada :( )
  
• Crissa's Blog (Haha)
  
• Byron'sBlog (Deep)
  
• Inigo's Blog (Deep in a different way)
  
• Red's Blog (Deep in a shallow way:))
  
• Riva's Blog (secret, daw, at least I think so)
• Karol's Blog
  
• Pan's Blog (Very direct and forceful Hehe)
  
• Friendster (Lags so bad, and is overrated)
  
• Megan's Friendster Blog (Wow, a French Megan)
  
• Megan's Friendster (Nice pic haha)
  
• Riva's Friendster ('nice' Pic woah)
  
• XiMa's Friendster (till the same old same old)
  
• Louie's Friendster (Aww.. touched ako sa pic)
  
• Megan's Blog (It makes for a good read. *wink*)
  

I ended up back at my own blog. Whew. It's been a while since I surfed the net this way, although some of the stops I made were impulsive.

Next stop: People from way back, way back.

High School Cliques

I'm almost finished with Suikoden III, finally. I'm in Chapter 5 and I've just lost all 3 true runes. Darn, I loved that lightning rune. It's been a wild ride, I've been levelling and upgrading equipment for about 2/3 of my 108 characters. Haha.. It's gotten addicting. I've grown attached to some of the characters, too. Now this kind of traditional RPG stuff is what I've been missing since I started playing Ragnarok a few years back. Next on the list of RPGs I currently have and will play again is Xenosaga.

Ultimate Spider-Man though, was a letdown. Short and stupid missions again. Lousy rewards and secrets again. Short storyline again. Sheesh. It's a good thing web swinging is still as addictive as ever, else I would've quit the game early.
------------------------------------------------------

Life becomes funny when you look back at it in hindsight. There's a movie on at HBO, Mean Girls, that I've just watched. And though it overdid some things, it does paint a somewhat accurate picture of high school life, albeit a much shallower one since we're in the Philippines and it's set in the good ol' U.S. of A.

Besides the hot girls in the movie, I had the chance to compare and contrast my real high school life with the fictional high school depicted in the movie. Some allowance must be made here, since high school here isn't really the same with other countries.

The film basically deals with the different cliques that can be found in a typical high school, and how they interact with each other. The interaction in the movie is school-wide. Here, it's more by year level and class, although there is some school wide interaction every so often.

I transferred schools starting my first year of HS. This gave me the opportunity (or disadvantage) of being a new student in school. I could start fresh, start with a clean slate. I remember my first year self thinking that I wouldn't be a nerd anymore, and that I'd be more outgoing. And we all know that I may have achieved the latter, but the former... needs a bit more work. I also remember taking a stroller to class for the first few days, until someone told me that was a no-no. I couldn't bring a stroller to class and be 'cool.' So I ditched the stroller. When you're in high school and you're a new student, you don't ask why.

I found myself being welcomed by the 'cool' clique, or so I christened them. This lasted all of 1 semester. It's not that I disliked my new-found clique, it's just that we sort of had different views of things, although it was really fun hanging out with Allan and the other guys. It's just some of the girls I couldn't stand. In particular, there was this girl named Jane whom I'll admit I had a crush on. (I was blinded by newbie-ness.) Thinking about her now, in hindsight, I would have to say that she makes a great HR manager, because she was just great at manipulating people. The actual experience would be better left untold.

I shifted to another clique, and it was a triummvirate this time. We weren't the 'coolest' but we weren't pariahs, too. Perhaps the best word to describe us would be 'under the radar.' I kept a low profile in my social life, although, with my high grades, it was only a matter of time 'til I got stuck with the 'nerd' label again.

On a side note- yes, I really did study hard that first year of high school. The next 3 years would be the exact opposite though, but I was really studious that year.

Cary and Bible stuck with me 'til the end of my first year of high school, when Bible went abroad to study (He's Korean), and I got accepted into the honors section. That's when I kind of lost touch with Cary and the rest of my first year buddies (Allan, Janice, Stacey, Edelyn and a few others). It wa fun while it lasted, but I was too young back then to have the sense to forge and strengthen bonds of friendship. The turbulent years of puberty sweeps a lot of things away.

Three years in the honors section gave me the chance to normalize, to stabilize, to regain a foothold. Being stuck with each other for 3 years forces you to establish links with other people, whether the links be steel chains or friendship bracelets. From this vantage point of stability, I could observe high school social life in a broader sense. The honors section always had that stigmata of being outcasts, since we were 'set apart' by the school itself, and our image was that of nerds, mostly. That's far from true, though, once I really got to know the class.

As with the broader high school society, our class had cliques too. I was lucky enough to meet the right guys as soon as my second year started. I've looked back then, and I've looked back now, and I can safely say that my clique is the best one for me. I met the coolest people I could ever meet in high school, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Of course, there'd be the jock types. But with one twist. Some of the sports guys were also some of the math guys. You might say there was a paradox lurking somewhere here. There's also the comics, which I strived to become and never quite achieved the status of (comic). Perhaps I tried too hard? Hehe.. Then there'd be the social types. Mostly, these were the girls, and some of the boys. I think the clique I was part of was partly social-type, since my friends would be the ones organizing gimiks and other trips. Then there were the brainy types. Oh who are we kidding. We were all brainy types, and we all were grade conscious. There were 2 subclasses, though. First would be the brainy AND studious. They were the ones who excelled and landed in the top of the class. Then there are the brainy BUT lazy. Sad to say (Although I'm faking it on the sad part), I was one of these, the ones who were mediocre in their grades but could have achieved more IN academics. Of course, my way of thinking was that academics isn't all there is to life, and I can say that although studies were a big part of my high school life, I also had some of the best experiences I will ever have in high school.

Our class though, had another way of defining cliques. This time, it was by leader. Yes, there are leaders, and there are the ones who gather around the leaders, which isn't to say that they are followers. In fact, leaders are leaders only in name, like the banner of a kingdom or some other simile like that. First there'd be those bannered under Jon. I'm one of those. Then there are those bannered around Jed, although I think Harley is the one pulling the strings. Some of these are the jocks-slash-mathnerds, and some are plain good in math. Then there's the Regine clique. Which is like a matriarchal clique. Regine's our valedictorian. There are other assorted cliques, but I'm too lazy to write them out. You get the idea.

The main point is, cliques do exist outside of movies, and I'm no stranger to one. It's just fun to think about the silliness of high school, now that I'm outside the bars and strolling through the zoo.

Terms of Use?

I had a lot of fun bonding with my high school buddies yesterday. I'd forgotten how wacky we all are, really.

Anyway, something just cracked me up. If you've had an email address and a wise guy friend, chances are you'd have already visited this site --> CrushCalculator

Yep, it's that infamous site where you type in your full name and then your crush's full name, then have the site calculate your love quotient or something like that. Then it turns out to be a spoof site and everything you typed in was sent to the friend who sent you the link to crush calculator. Haha.. Very funny guys. :) But it's been a while since I last got one of these, and I decided to see it through anyway. (Of course I'd be typing bogus stuff, haha) At the bottom of the page, I saw this---> Terms of Use

That's when I had a thought- Maybe the terms of use tips you off that this is a spoof site. Check out the link above to see what it says.

And I had another thought that just made me smile at the uselessness of some things.

No one EVER, ever reads the Terms of Usage of any site. I pity the poor guys who take an hour or three to make lengthy treatises (Look it up, you're using the net for cryin' out loud) that no self-respecting internet veteran would read. Sometimes, though, the Terms of Use do give important information.

Boredom

I've done nothing but play my Playstation 2 the past few days. I've been continuing my save in Suikoden III. It's been such a long time since I've played an honest-to-goodness, old-school RPG. None of that MMORPG or Strategy RPG stuff now. I've discovered that I missed my PS2 and the console games I have. I need new ones, fast. I've been too wrapped up in PC games.

--------------------------------------------------------

When you're bored, all you have are your thoughts.

I've been thinking a lot. (It figures, I've been bored a lot.)

You know something? I've changed. Not noticeably in some aspects, but still, there's change. For one, I used to like movies like King Kong. Now I try to search for movies with more emphasis on human relationships. That means romantic-comedy-other-genre-stuff-thingies. Although I still like the occasional spy thriller. I just like it when movies offer you food for thought. Is life really like that?

I've also started "trimming" the tree, so to speak. I've been trying to develop the bonds between me and my close friends, and I've been.. cutting off the others, for lack of a better term. I still suffer the occasional peer pressure attack, but for the most part, I don't try to hide the real me anymore. It's too hard, anyway. Like it or not, I don't care anymore. I guess in that aspect, I've been pushing away people who don't like my new attitude.

There's also that sense of "What is my purpose?" Everywhere, I can see people my age doing something big, something grand, then I look at myself. I'm a Star Scholar, but so what? I'm not friggin' good at math, which seems to be THE most important subject for everyone except me. I haven't done anything yet, and it's been 18 years. I need to carve my niche, fast.

Speaking of math, I've madee my choice. Math is, and will always be, a dislike. I will never like it, and so, I will never excel at it. Whatever a Star Scholar stands for, THIS scholar chooses to let go of math and concentrate on the more important things in life, like writing, for instance.

Which leads to the thought that if I won't excel in math, how in the world will I excel in Computer Science?! That's a puzzle I'm still trying to figure out. But I'm thinking along the lines that even computer science needs creativity and imagination, not just number-crunching.

Boredom makes life complicated.

----------------------------------------

Tomorrow, I will get to see my high school buddies again. Can't wait. Can't wait.

Second Term

Whew.. I have just finished every project, and every exam for the second term of my stay here in La Salle. It was a doozy, this past month. I hardly had time to do anything else aside from my due reports and projects.

The one thing to worry about now is my GPA. I just hope it's higher than or equal to 2.5, or else I'm in big trouble, to state it simply. I'm kind of worried over my INTROSO subject since the darn professor is one Scrooge when it comes to giving high grades.

Meanwhile, I've been too busy to drop by our newspaper's office. I hope my editor won't hold that against me. Sigh.. And I can't wait 'til Friday to pick up my copy of my first solo article (review not counted) in the paper.

One thing I'm excited about is the coming Christmas party/reunion with my high school buddies. It'll be great seeing Jon, Ja, By, Cocoy, Cri, Awi, et. al. after a long hiatus. I can't wait to hear about their Atenean travails, too. Hehe.

Now, it's time to kick back, relax, and let the Christmas vacation refresh me for the next term.

The Noise of Music

Another essay brought to you by ENGLONE class...

College is sucking the life out of meeeeee...
--------------------------------------------------------

Hard rock, rap, metal. Rhythm ‘n blues, pop, country. Reggae, soul, jazz.

Music. Noise.

It’s the kind of thing people never tire arguing about.

In theory, it’s really very easy to compare noise and music. They’re both sounds. Noise is unpleasant to hear, while music is, well, pleasing to the ears. In application, it’s a little less easy to compare how each person plots the boundaries between noise and music.

There are the standard comparisons. Noise consists of random sounds that are grating to the ears; music has a melody, a tone, a beat. Noise lacks harmony, lacks direction, lacks rhythm. But then, is every song music to every person’s ears?

To some people, the rock genre is what defines music. All other kinds of music are considered as mere playthings, background noise. Rock is the epitome of music. But not all rock is music. Noisemakers range from bands that are unfortunate enough to have clean-cut poster boys as vocalists, to posers who do not truly know what rock is all about. What is rock all about then? Who has the right to define a genre? Is it the so-called connoisseurs and critics who have lived and breathed “rightful” rock? To them, music is the right, or more appropriately, the correct form of rock. All that deviate from this form, christen them as “noise”.

In every variety of music, not just rock, we can always find these persons. Their view of music is black-and-white. A song should follow rigid standards, “music morals”, in order to be considered music. They can hardly hear music through the din of others who have failed their harmony test.

On the other hand, there are many who like music from many genres, and who do not like other music from the same genres. The label of music or noise is then taken song by individual song. To these people, music is simply what makes them laugh, cry, ponder on, and moves them. Noise is simply those songs that blend quite well into the clamor and racket of the background.

Music is so varied nowadays, speaking generally. But music isn’t really that varied, because for every person, there is always a set of tunes that is truly music to their ears; the rest are just noise.

Will She Ever Find Her Way Back Home to Me?

Yes! :)

Flown Away From Me

" ‘Cause this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wings and made her mine
For all eternity
Now this angel has flown away from me
Thought I had the strength to set her free
Did what I did because I love her so
Will she ever find her way back home to me"
- Heaven Knows [Orange and Lemons]

Here I am, insisting that I am right, that I should just stay away. Just stay away from trouble. But here I am, staying away, but only in deed. In my heart, I just can't. It's undeniably tearing me apart when I know that this is for the best that I stay away, yet I also know that somehow, it just isn't complete if I stay away.

Once again, I'm proven right. If I do nothing, you'll do nothing. It's always I who initiates, never you. But being proven right doesn't mean that my feelings of doubt go away. Sometimes, I try staying away so much that all I can think about is you.

I thought I knew what I was doing. =/

Best Friends

Here's an essay from ENGLONE about something I saw in 10 minutes of walking around the campus.
-------------------------
They hold onto each other’s hands, walking amidst the crowd of students along the cobblestone path in front of St. Joseph Hall. The boy whispers something to his companion; her light laugh carries over to where I sit musing, watching the persons around me. They call themselves best friends.

The boy and the girl stroll along the shaded lane, oblivious to the hustle and bustle of a university’s busy afternoon life. Sunlight illuminates dust motes that swirl around them, illuminates the hurried outlines of people going someplace important. They have not a care for the world existing around them; each only has his attention for the other. Their banter cuts through the din of the throng, soft yet subtly powerful voices rising and falling in pitch; the boy’s deep voice complementing the girl’s mellow tones. The two best friends bask in each other’s company.

They chance upon mutual friends in their lazy meandering. They seem to be unconscious of the jokes and teases directed at them by their buddies. The best friends seem safe and secure in each other’s company. Their smiles speak of a deep connection, a tight bond between them, whose existence only they know.

They walk away from everyone else, lost again in their shared personal world. They call themselves best friends. Perhaps, deep within their hearts, they know that they are already more than that.

Snobs and I

I've become addicted to another song, this time by Vertical Horizon.

"He's everything you want 
He's everything you need 
He's everything inside of you 
That you wish you could be 
He says all the right things 
At exactly the right time 
But he means nothing to you 
And you don't know why"

-Everything You Want
--------------------------------------------------

What is a snob?

Wikipedia gives the following definition: "A snob, guilty of snobbery or snobbism, is a person who imitates the manners, adopts the world-view and affects the lifestyle of a social class of people to which that person does not by right belong."

I think the snob's mindset is that although he does not "by right" belong to his chosen social class, he belongs to it "by privilege."

I learned a lesson from reading Archie comic books. (On a side note, Archie comic books have been important factors in shaping my heart and soul. Such is the power and wisdom of Archie comics.) Anyway, as I've said, I got an important rule-of-the-thumb from Archie.

"Everyone is a snob, in his or her own way."

I can see the truth in that. A person might be a muscle-type of snob. Another might be a snob of a brainy-type. People are snobs in their own little fields of proficiency, thus my conclusion that snobs belong by privilege.

And myself? I'm a not-studying snob. I pride myself on achieving the status of being able to not study and still get good grades, and stay with people on the same level. Okay, maybe I get lower grades than other people who are as smart as me AND study as well, but for a snob like me, that's besides the point. The point which says that, "Yes, I am better than thou because I can get away with not studying."

There is one drawback to being a not-studying snob, though.

Actually, there are two. One being that people assume that since I get high grades, I study, and thus I am industrious. Which couldn't be farther from the truth of me.

Second, and more importantly, I always think, "What if?" What if I had studied? What if I had paid attention in lectures? Could it be that my high grades obtained from not studying soar even higher just by taking down notes? Could it be that my potential to be great will only stay a potential, and not become realized?

Oh, I guess those are the pitfalls of being a glorified snob. :)

I'm Here in the Now

I'm here in the now, and it's boring.

I'm sitting across the screen in our The LaSallian office trying to do my religion report. Not much progress there. I find myself strangely drawn to friendster, mainly because I only check my friendster here in the office, as there's nothing better to do.

Anyway, I fooled around with Friendster™ blogs. Here's my firzt entry -->

http://jenoosia.blogs.friendster.com/my_first_friendster_blog/

Enjoy! :)

P.S. After reading my post... Yes, it's THAT boring here.

You Say The Words That I Can't Say

"Every time i think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say."

- Bizarre Love Triangle

Coming from a weekend (last Friday actually) I spent two of my high school friends, I'm relatively depressed. I had hoped to bring my joy at seeing Jon and Ja again after so long with me, but this week's been gloomy so far.

I was surfing through my WinAmp playlist when I stumbled onto a song entitled (you guessed it!) Bizarre Love Triangle. It really spoke out to me. I'm just a sucker for these old love songs. You know that feeling, like you're suddenly punched in the heart by some old song whose lyrics just sympathized with you? I wonder why they don't make those kinds of songs today.

Anyway, I'm here being gloomy about something that's mostly intangible and in the far far future. I think I'm being a bit silly feeling down. But there we have it.

It's just a weird feeling that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Weird, no? Yeah, but it's how I feel right now. Mostly, it's about the feeling of temporariness. Yes, I have today, probably even tomorrow. But what about tomorrow's tomorrow? Will I still have the people I hold dear? My mind's saying, "No, what you have is temporary." That's what I'm lacking right now- a sense of security.

What with recent events changing a part of my life and all, it's very hard to have security. You wake up one morning to find out that in the space of a few hours, everything has changed, or at least something has changed. You find out that in the space of a dream or a nightmare, someone has gone.

But life goes on, whether we like it or not. Or whether we have security or not.

I wonder when I'll regain my little bubble of security again.

No Such Thing

"Welcome to the real world," she said to me, condescendingly.

Life is full of imperfections. Why is this so? One simple reason.

Perfection is relative.

The ideal is relative.

What may be perfect to a person might be less than ideal to someone else. What constitutes perfection in the eyes of one may not be the case in the eyes of another. Some may argue that a perfect square is perfection, others may think that being math-less is perfect. Okay, bad example. The cheesy saying goes, "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." In this case, perfection is in the eyes of the beholder.

My ideal mate. Would have to be female. But that's obvious. And corny, I suppose.

Since we are talking about ideal mates here, I am going to leave my second's hesitation about sounding stuck-up. After all, one can't scrimp on perfection.

I have this thing (read: fetish) about long hair. My perfect girl has long, shiny hair, for me to play with when we're cuddling. She has the kind of eyes that can speak volumes in one look. Her eyes are never cold, though. She has a well-formed nose and full, red lips. She has a beautiful face, which becomes even more beautiful because she always has on a radiant smile.

My perfect girl is fair in complexion. She is slightly smaller than me, and she carries herself with dignity. Her body is just right, slim, but not too skinny, well-formed, but not fat. I never liked girls with chopstick-thin limbs. Of course, being a full-blooded male, my perfect girl has curves in all the right places. I'm never really particular with measurements, but the sight of her would send shivers down my spine.

My perfect girl is loyal and thoughtful. She knows that I may sometimes feel insecure about her, because she is just so beautiful. She loves me because of my being me. She always reminds me that she is always there for me. She does little things, thoughtful touches that always makes me feel better.

My perfect girl is open. Whenever she has a problem, she always tells me, and I try to help her work it out. Whenever she feels down, or whenever she worries about something, she never hides it from me. I never feel that my help is unwanted. Our relationship is mutual; we both understand that. Both of us have to help each other.


My perfect girl, most of all, is considerate. She understands that even though I sometimes appear to be lazy, that is just my way of handling things. She knows and understands the little things that constitute me. When we are talking, she gives me her full attention. She never makes me feel ignored. She understands that sometimes, I need some time alone to ponder on the mysteries of life. She understands that I will always be corny, and she accepts me for who I am.

She knows my little faults, and my not-so-little faults, and she accepts that though she might be perfect, I am far from being ideal.

She knows how deeply I feel about certain things. She knows that I give my trust freely, that I believe in the kindness of strangers. She knows that I am most afraid, ironically, of being betrayed and ignored by someone I have grown to trust. She knows that I am most afraid of being hurt by those close to me, and she will never do that.

When I am with my perfect girl, I can dispense with pretensions.

When I am with my perfect girl, I can be me.

[Note: this post is our English One homework. The topic is not of my own choosing. Although it turns out that I have a lot to say this time.]

Thinking Out Loud

Here's a thought:

Has any of my friends ever noticed the fact that I have very strong and emphatic views (bordering on cheesy) on loyalty, trust, and being considerate of people I am with?

I guess I am a Romantic at heart.

I Hope Hell Freezes Over

October 31, 2005.

Halloween, and the end of my Week from the Bowels of Hell.

Monday to Saturday last week was not fun, neither was it relaxing. But it sure as heck was satisfying after finally tasting the cup of comfort yesterday.

Here's what I had to do the past week:

Monday:
Nothing much. Just a boring day, but I was already being pressured by 3 things. My Sociology report, my Menagerie article and my RELSONE poster. Darn. The pressure was getting to me.

Tuesday:
Oh yeah. After a hectic 2 hours of dance P.E., we proceeded to make our socio report, which was due that same afternoon. How very pulse-pounding. We got through it by the skin of my teeth. (WTF was THAT idiom?!) My head was pounding with the yet unfinished poster and article. After our presentation, we found out that we HAD TO MAKE ANOTHER REPORT ON THURSDAY! About another topic! $^#^%#$%$^!

That night, at around 10:30 pm, I started our RELSONE poster.

Wednesday:
Morning of the 3rd day from hell. We rushed our RELSONE poster, which was really quite decent. That morning left me with a slight headache. Still no report, and no article.

Thursday:
From 8:00 to around 12:00, I toiled on Omar's laptop, making a Word Doc about our report on Socio that my gifted blockmate could transport to powerpoint. I ended up not attending COMPRO2, then finding out that my toil was for nothing. We didn't need to report that day after all. ARG!

At least Omar let me bring the laptop home. I dropped some hints about wanting one. Hehehehe.. Then my editor messaged me in YM. Uh oh.. I had to do my article.. So I started. Then my internet connection went haywire. Sigh. Oh well. I started my article, but around 11:00pm, I started fooling with the laptop. I ended up playing Halo 'til 2:00 am.

Friday:
From 9:00 am to 2:30, I did my article. Those were some of the hardest hours of my life. But I finished it on time, right before my next class, and my head was pounding from the exertion.

When I finally went home, guess what? I had to make another report for Community Service the following day. >_<

----------------------------
And so on. Sigh.

Not only that, but my emotions were in turmoil too. Sheesh.. If this is what college feels like...

It's hard enough to concentrate on your studies, but when some people you consider friends seem to care nothing at all about you, it becomes a recipe for disaster. But anyways, I'm still young. My college life is still starting. In a few years, this will all be forgotten.

But in the meantime, I hope that hell freezes over.

Busy Rambling

I haven't found the time to post entries on my blog as frequently as I would have wanted. Mainly, this is due to my laziness. I have also been 'busy' with other things. And since my English professor requires us to write a journal, most of my thoughts have been going the way of the pen rather than the keyboard.

I'm busy these days, if by busy we mean doing a lot of nonsense stuff. I've been busy playing DotA, busy going out with the 'guys', busy bumming around. I'm too busy being un-busy. I don't want to think of the future right now. I'm wallowing in a time-stopped world.

I've begun reminiscing about my life in high school. We were carefree then, we had no worries, no obligations. High school is now a bygone era of my life, although I find myself strangely trying to emulate my high school personality.

One thing I won't miss about high school, though, is the need to keep up appearances. The need to always be 'in.' Nowadays I don't care anymore. If people can't accept me without the artificialities of modern life, the hell with them. (It's a continuation of my "new personality", see below.)

Here I am, playing 2-3 games of DotA everyday, honing my skills in yet another online/LAN game I will eventually quit. Well, what can I say? My secret guilty gaming fantasy is to one day pick my choicee of online game and be the best and most popular at it. I shall find a game that I will make a career of. Although if my other fantasy plays out, I'll be the one designing the game instead of playing it.

Fave heroes? Pudge is my man. Vengeful spirit's another recent favorite.

What am I doing these days? Nothing much. I haven't had much chance to hang out with my old barkada Riva and etc. I don't really know if I'm cut out to be a 'follower'. I'm more of the rebel-leader type, like Princess Leia in Star Wars. Although I ain't gay. I think the problem with me is that I like different stuff. I want to be more outspoken. i don't want to have to say "Yes okay we'll do it your way" every time. So there.

I miss you Invictus guys. <3

Complicate

There are times in your life when things just get too tangled up. Every moment of every day is busy. So many things are happening. You can't keep track of everything that is going on. There are times when you do not know what to do, what to say, what to think.

Now is one such time in my life. It seems like so much is happening so much.

On the one hand, my studies are not doing so well, especially in one subject I thought I'd ace.

On the other, I do not know my relationship with the people I am interacting with everyday.

And on another, my friend Riva is sick with dengue.

There are times when I appreciate the importance of 'Less is more.' I wonder if life gets this complicated back when there weren't so many things.

Do people get complicated as stuff gets complicated?

I find myself trying too hard to please everyone. Too hard. I guess it's my inherent sense of insecurity. I need to know that friends are really friends. I need to know if you like me, or if you hate me. I need to know exactly who my enemies are, and who I can depend on.

I think I turn to videogames because in games, things become simple. You win, or you lose. You're the good guy, or you're the bad guy. That explains my addiction to DotA and CS. That doesn't explain my addiction to Ragnarok (in the past) and the GTA series.

Maybe I need to slow down a bit. I really need to stop trying to please everyone.

Yes, I think that's exactly what I'm going to do. If my new attitude doesn't please you, please take a hike.

Sub-Zero and Gemini

Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat.

Gemini, a song by Spongecola.

What's the common denominator between the two?

Think for a moment.

...................

...................

The answer:
Both have spawned a whole army of clones!

Sub-Zero is the blue, ice ninja from Mortal Kombat, and one of the 2 original ninjas in MK, together with Scorpion. 3 if you count Reptile as an original ninja.

They were only 2 (or 3). Then came the clones. The red ninja called Ermac. The gray ninja called Smoke. The black ninja called Noob Saibot. The light blue (or is it light green) ninja called Rain. They came, they saw, they padded the cast of a videogame.

The only difference the ninjas had with each other were the names and the colors of their ninja costumes. What a way to create characters! Default body, paint bucket, name corresponding to color.. Voila! New character named Pink Floyd! Funny for a while, irritating in the long run.

What about Gemini?

I liked the original version. I listened to my Spongecola CD a lot earlier this year. Then came the acoustic, or live version. Then came the piano version.

Come on guys! How many ways can you redo a song anyway? The lyrics are getting stale, the vocals are definitely stale, and the song is starting to grind on the ears.

Rehashing a song over and over seems to be the height of laziness. Just what is Spongecola doing these days? Besides clone themselves over and over and over..

People

"No man is an island."

Ponder. Ponder. Ponder.

Very true, very true. You can't live alone. Mental illness is the probable end of that woebegotten road.

But sometimes, you find that being alone is more preferable.

No one to argue with, no one to worry about, no one to fret on.
No one to tell you what to do, no one to occupy your mind.
No one to dictate your thoughts, no one to impress.
No one to disappoint.
No one to relate to.

Sometimes, being alone is a relief.

But after a while, the relief thins. You find yourself starving for people. You find yourself wishing for someone to argue with, someone to occupy your mind, someone to worry about.

I don't really fancy being cut off from other people. But.. There are just some times that I want to stay away from some people.

I get frustrated trying, just trying. So frustrated that I just give up.

Some people, you want to be friends with. Some people you think you're close with. Some people disappoint you. Disappoint you by brushing you off even though you've been friends for a good while. Disappoint you by not even trying to listen to you. Disappoint you in the fact that you think that you mean a lot more to that person than she lets on, but instead..

That's why my frustration boiled over and I stayed away from some people. But, time passes.

Even though you may not mean much to some people, they may mean much to you.

Unrequited friendship.

Creation Vs. Evolution: My Final Word

Evolution is jsut too dicey because it centers on random chance of mutations actually being helpful.

Chance is not enough to churn out human beings with bodies infinitely more complicated than man-made things invented by man.

Creationism VS. Evolutionism: It Gets Personal

QUOTE(thetitus @ Sep 13 2005, 08:51 AM)
--------------START OF HIS POST------------------

i'm not quoting your entire post, but here are a few articles refuting whatever 'evidence' for young-earth creationism you have.

they've fallen into two catagories:
false evidence for a young earth

and

things 'wrong' with evolution. now, tell me: why is a problem with evolution PROOF for creationism?

first: see this article about the compatability of christianity and evolution: see here

second: as to the age of the earth, see here
and, specifically on the polonium halos,
see here

thirdly: for a refutation of your appendix assertions, see
here

i find it stupid that you even try to postulate that the bible is a valid historical source - it's noted to be fairly accurate in the new testament, but the old testament is notably inaccurate - the majority of it is religious parable!

this isn't a case of 'open mindedness', it's a case of scientific veracity - creationism isn't even falsifiable! to present it side by side on a SCIENTIFIC standpoint with evolution is absurd. it's a completely faith-based endeavour.

----------------------END OF HIS POST----------------------

Let's get one thing straight. I do not consider problems concerning evolution to be EVIDENCE against creation.

Here's what I do think: Most people like you judge it as such because, as I've said, let's face it, evolution is the norm. Would you be willing to even look for valid evidence with regards to creationism?

That's why creationists often find it easier to poke holes into the evolutionist theory. BECAUSE People like you do not have any background at all in creationism, and have absolutely no interest of doing so.

Secondly, you bring up an interesting point in the veracity of the Old Testament. What I was talking about in my post about archaeological findings corresponding to the Bible was actually referring to the Old Testament. And since you pointed out that the New Testament also figures reliably with many people, Thanks.

Another point I've found out is that the links we gave all stem from rival sites. There is absolutely no way I can contradict one or another. I'm just giving examples of evidence which most people, including you would not even know if someone didn't bother to try justifying creationist theory to you.

By the way, I find it interesting that, at least in the minority, creationism has been "accepted" as a theory, albeit a very unpopular one, opposed to evolutionism, thus warranting refution to evidence, discussions, and debates such as this one. Considering that it is "preposterous" and "stupid" to even postulate that etc. etc..

And therein lies the main fact of the matter. Due to the fact that creationism is based on the Bible, it instantly becomes unworthy of further examination for most people, like you.

Thus the "I find it stupid that you..." statements.

I'm not a scientist, heck, I just entered college. But what I know is that history is written by the winners. And in this case, evolution seems to be the winner, because in the eyes of most people, like you, evolution IS history.

Creation Vs. Evolution: Part 2

My second post on the topic:

I guess what I'm trying to say is that evolution is considered a science to most people, because of certain evidences pointing out that the theory may be correct, but most people do not consider creationism a science. Why is that? Because the main evidence thought of by people used in justifying creationism is the Bible. Which is not to say that creationism does not have other evidence, as you seem to be pointing out. Back to the Bible, I believe it's the most significant reason why creationist theory is in the minority. Simply because the Bible has religious roots, thus a theory based on religious roots automatically invalidates it as science in the eyes of many people.

There's also the fact that most people who support evolution do not believe in the Bible. That's another reason why creationism may never become mainstream. But that's not my point.

Religion - An organized system of belief that generally seeks to understand purpose, meaning, goals, and methods of spiritual things. Spiritual things.

Think of the Bible as having other uses other than spiritual things. After all, it contains numerous histories of different people and places. Now search for archaeological discoveries that have given credence to the Bible's histories. There are many of these, and no archaeological discovery has yet to discredit the Bible.

Thus, seeing as parts of the Bible are true, why shouldn't it be correct to assume that the whole of it is true? Therefore, creationist theory arose from this thinking.

My point here? Creationist theory is based on the Bible.

If you do not at least keep an open mind as to the Bible's authencity, creationist theory will never make sense to you.

That alone disqualifies most people.

But as I've said, the Bible is thought to be the main evidence of creationism. But here I digress. The Bible may be a basis for creationist theory, but that doesn't mean that that is all the evidence the theory gives.

The problem is that, due to evolution's widespread acceptance, new evidence pointing out to creationism as a valid theory is often IGNORED. Thus, the only way to seek attention is to contradict evidence that supports evolution by way of finding inconsistencies in the evidence given by evolution.

And, as everyone in this thread can tell you, did not work, because instead of disproving evidence for evolution, what creationists got was scorn. For, as you say, having no independent evidence, and instead relying on disproving evolutionist theories.

--------------------------------

Some evidence pointing to the validity of a creationist theory:

I. Evidence for A yound Earth - Polonium Halos in Granite and Coal

Etched within Earth's foundation rocks — the granites — are beautiful microspheres of coloration, halos, produced by the radioactive decay of primordial polonium, which is known to have only a fleeting existence.

The following simple analogy will show how these polonium microspheres — or halos — contradict the evolutionary belief that granites formed as hot magma slowly cooled over millions of years. To the contrary, this analogy demonstrates how these halos provide unambiguous evidence of both an almost instantaneous creation of granites and the young age of the earth.

A speck of polonium in molten rock can be compared to an Alka-Seltzer dropped into a glass of water. The beginning of effervescence is equated to the moment that polonium atoms began to emit radiactive particles. In molten rock the traces of those radioactive particles would disappear as quickly as the Alka-Seltzer bubbles in water. But if the water were instantly frozen, the bubbles would be preserved. Likewise, polonium halos could have formed only if the rapidly "effervescing" specks of polonium had been instantly encased in solid rock.

An exceedingly large number of polonium halos are embedded in granites around the world. Just as frozen Alka-Seltzer bubbles would be clear evidence of the quick-freezing of the water, so are these many polonium halos undeniable evidence that a sea of primordial matter quickly "froze" into solid granite.

The occurrence of these polonium halos, then, distinctly implies that our earth was formed in a very short time.

II. The Human Appendix

The human vermiform appendix
A general surgeon’s reflections

by J. Warwick Glover

The appendix is commonly referred to as a classic example of a vestigial organ. Such a statement implies that the appendix represents a vestige of an organ with a former greater existence in the evolutionary sense, rather than in an earlier stage of its development.

It was because of Charles Darwin’s ‘Descent of Man’ (1871)11 in fact, that the vermiform caecal appendage became widely regarded as a rudimentary organ representing the much more developed distal caecum present (if evolution is assumed) in man’s more herbivorous ancestors.

(cut portions of text.)

Only A Few Diverse Mammals Possess An Appendix

In a study of the alimentary tracts of animals we find the appendix is not present in any invertebrate. Among the vertebrates, it is absent in fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds and most mammals. In fact, the vermiform appendix, recognised as a worm-like, narrow extension beginning abruptly at the caecal apex (see Fig. 1 again) is only present in a few marsupials such as the wombat and South American opossum, a few rodents (rabbits and rats) and few primates (only the anthropoid apes and man). Note that monkeys do not have such an organ.2,7,10,17

Taking any evolutionary tree an evolutionist cares to suggest, and trying to correlate the appearance and disappearance of the appendix with such a tree, is impossible. A typical defence is either to argue that soft parts don’t fossilise and things must have been different in the past (evolutionists then ignoring their cherished axiom ‘The present is the key to the past’), or calling upon ‘convergent evolution’, which is a type of explain-anything phrase without mechanism that is frequently used to defy the above obvious type of mosaicism.

The Evolutionist Has A Mammoth Problem

If formerly the evolutionist had the appendix going and now has it coming, he cannot explain why it is first present in some marsupial animals like the wombat, but absent in all the mammals between the wombat and apes and man, apart from the rabbit and a few rodents, and especially explaining the absence in monkeys.

Evolutionary postulations would have us believe that a tailed mammal without an appendix gave rise to a monkey with a tail but still without an appendix, which then gave rise to an ape without a tail but with an appendix, and then on to man where the appendix has developed to the extreme! Although an oversimplification, the above exemplifies the incredible problem the evolutionist now has with his supposedly vestigial appendix. With one argument he has us believing it’s going and with the other it’s coming. Perhaps it is neither going nor coming.

The Creationist Viewpoint

The fiat creationist would expect various kinds of animals to have alimentary tracts based on a common design, with modifications and specialisations on that basic blueprint being made in appropriate areas.19 Such alterations would still be according to plan and purpose, and conforming to the structural and functional needs of the organism in question in its natural environment. The organism would also have an inbuilt ability to adapt within a fixed range to allow for growth to maturity and adjustment to environmental variations. The caecum and appendix, when viewed as separate but related specialised entities in structure and function in the digestive tracts of different animal kinds, do not contradict creationist expectations.

In summary therefore, the human vermiform appendix appears to be a complex and organised structure both in its development and maturation, and almost certainly has corresponding complexity in its functions which, like most gastrointestinal functions, are still awaiting further clarification. It would appear that the functions of the appendix would be most important when the organ itself has most prominence, and this is in the developing foetus and early existence after birth. The inside of the bowel is outside the body and the area where substances foreign to it have their greatest chance of attack. The appendix appears to be strategically placed and structurally composed of tissues which are vital in establishing and maintaining the various types of body defences or immunity necessary in recognition of such assaults and having a part to play in their repulsion. The appendix is thus one of the guardians of the internal environment of the body from the hostile external environment.
Conclusions

The vermiform appendix occurs only in a few diverse mammals.

This supports the view that among animal kinds with respect to the occurrence of such a particular and specialised feature one sees mosaicism in its distribution with discontinuity between animal kinds. A careful assessment of the embryology of the appendix in humans indicates that quantitatively it has a very early and rapid development during the critical stages of bowel growth and organisation. However, microscopically the tissues of the appendix are complicated and highly specialised, but this qualitative aspect of the organ’s growth does not occur until just after birth when the neonate takes on essential bacteria to reside in its colon.

The appendix would appear to have a role (although not as the sole organ) in establishing and maintaining the bowel-blood barrier for such bacteria in its area. The special aspects of the mucus produced in this area (the antibacterial paint-like action) along with the appendix figuring in the development of its region have been discussed. It has also been shown that the appendix can in no way be vestigial in an evolutionary sense. The hallmarks of the appendix thus appear to be creative design and organisation as if it is formed according to a plan to play a specific purpose. If one studies any organ or organism in the living world, one comes across such a discontinuous and mosaic distribution of structural and functional features among animal kinds. The features for structure and function go hand in glove with each other, obeying sound principles of design engineering and organisation yet possessing incredible functional capacities. Notwithstanding such features, there is also an economy of effort to achieve them and within the system an inherent beauty.

For the full text, for people who can understand technical biology..
Here.

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Creationists and evolutionists all have the same evidence—the same facts. Think about it: we all have the same earth, the same fossil layers, the same animals and plants, the same stars—the facts are all the same.

The difference is in the way we all interpret the facts. And why do we interpret facts differently? Because we start with different presuppositions. These are things that are assumed to be true, without being able to prove them. These then become the basis for other conclusions. All reasoning is based on presuppositions (also called axioms). This becomes especially relevant when dealing with past events.

Thus the presuppositions that stem from either side.

----------------------------------------------
Here's another article on chance.

"The argument from probability that life could not form by natural processes but must have been created is sometimes acknowledged by evolutionists as a strong argument.1 The probability of the chance formation of a hypothetical functional ‘simple’ cell, given all the ingredients, is acknowledged2 to be worse than 1 in 1057800. This is a chance of 1 in a number with 57,800 zeros.

These numbers defy our ability to comprehend their size. Fred Hoyle, British mathematician and astronomer, has used analogies to try to convey the immensity of the problem. For example, Hoyle said the probability of the formation of just one of the many proteins on which life depends is comparable to that of the solar system packed full of blind people randomly shuffling Rubik’s cubes all arriving at the solution at the same time3—and this is the chance of getting only one of the 400 or more proteins of the hypothetical minimum cell proposed by the evolutionists (real world ‘simple’ bacteria have about 2,000 proteins and are incredibly complex). As Hoyle points out, the program of the cell, encoded on the DNA, is also needed. In other words, life could not form by natural (random) processes.

Evolutionists often try to bluff their way out of this problem by using analogies to argue that improbable things happen every day, so why should the naturalistic origin of life be considered impossible. For example, they say the odds of winning the lottery are pretty remote, but someone wins it every week. Or, the chances of getting the particular arrangement of cards obtained by shuffling a deck is remote, but a rare combination happens every time the cards are shuffled. Or the arrangement of the sand grains in a pile of sand obtained by randomly pouring the sand is extremely complex, but this complex and improbable arrangement did occur as a result of random processes. Or the exact combination and arrangement of people walking across a busy city street is highly improbable, but such improbable arrangements happen all the time. So they argue from these analogies to try to dilute the force of this powerful argument for creation.

You probably realize there is something illogical about this line of argument. But what is it?

In all the analogies cited above, there has to be an outcome. Someone has to win the lottery. There will be an arrangement of cards. There will be a pile of sand. There will be people walking across the busy street. By contrast, in the processes by which life is supposed to have formed, there need not necessarily be an outcome. Indeed the probabilities argue against any outcome. That is the whole point of the argument. But then the evolutionist may counter that it did happen because we are here! This is circular reasoning at its worst.

Note several other things about these analogies:

Creationists do not argue that life is merely complex, but that it is ordered in such a way as to defy a natural explanation. The order in the proteins and DNA of living things is independent of the properties of the chemicals of which they consist—unlike an ice crystal where the structure results from the properties of the water molecule. The order in living things parallels that in printed books where the information is not contained in the ink, or even in the letters, but in the complex arrangement of letters which make up words, words which make up sentences, sentences which make up paragraphs, paragraphs which make up chapters and chapters which make up books. These components of written language respectively parallel the nucleic acid bases, codons, genes, operons, chromosomes and genomes which make up the genetic programs of living cells.

The order in living things shows they are the product of intelligence. The result of the lottery draw is clearly the result of a random selection—unless family members of the lottery supervisor consistently win! Then we would conclude that the draw has not been random—it is not the result of a random process, but the result of an intelligent agent.

The arrangement of cards resulting from shuffling would not normally suggest anything other than a random process. However, if all the cards were ordered by their suits from lowest to highest, we would logically conclude that an intelligent agent arranged them (or ‘stacked the deck’ in card-playing parlance) because such an arrangement is highly unlikely from genuine shuffling—a random, non-intelligent process.

The arrangement of the sand grains in a pile would not normally suggest it resulted from intelligent activity rather than natural processes. However, if all the sand grains were lined up in single file, or were in a neat rectangle, we would attribute this to an intelligent agent, or a machine made by an intelligent agent, as this would not be likely from a natural process.

The arrangement of people crossing a busy street would not normally suggest anything other than a random process. However, if all the people were ordered from shortest to tallest, or some other ordered arrangement, we would suspect that an intelligent agent was responsible for putting them in this order—that it did not result from chance. If 20 people were arranged from shortest to tallest, the odds of this happening by chance are less than one in a billion, billion (1018), so it would be reasonable to conclude that such an ordered arrangement was not due to chance whereas there would be nothing to suggest intelligent involvement if there was no meaningful pattern to the arrangement of people.

Many scientists today claim that an invisible ‘intelligent cause’ is outside the realm of ‘real’ science. These scientists have redefined science as naturalism (nature is all there is). However, scientists recognise the evidence for an invisible intelligent agent when it suits them. For example, forensic science determines if past events were the result of accident or plan and purpose (‘Who done it?’). The Piltdown ape-man fraud was discovered, after some 40 years and numerous postgraduate research theses, when researchers had the opportunity to examine the original bones and not just replicas, and they noticed file marks on the teeth.4 Such marks do not happen by natural processes and the researchers recognised the involvement of a human (intelligent) agent—a hoaxer."

---------------------

And yes, assumptions are not necessarily basis for circular arguments, but in this case, assumptions make an argument circular.

Quote from DonExodus himself:

"You do realize by saying there was an Earth 540 million years ago youre assuming creationism is false before you make your first statement."

In this case, both evolution and creationism have relied on presuppositions. Thus unless one presupposition contradicts the other, there will really be no clear winner.