Reevaulation: Part 3

Actually, Part 3 is where the reevaulation comes in.
And actually, I don't quite know where to start.

I think I should just make a bulleted list...

REEVALUATION AND REALIZATIONS:

• For a blog that's titled "Disorganized Mind", my layout seems to be super organized. This has led me into making some parallels about myself and my blog. Oftentimes, I think I'm one kind of person, but then my thoughts, words, and actions speak plainly of what I truly am. I guess titles just don't work with me.
• I was also thinking about Star Scholars in general. I don't think I'm cut out to be one if I don't develop healthy study habits soon. My grades are below stellar at the moment. I need to focus more on my studies.
• I've had a realization (a few of them actually) : People are not what they first appear to be. I think I wrote a post-it about spilling stuff.. Maybe later.
• Another realization: I've been putting too much focus on social life. While it HAS given me friends, I'm neglecting the rest of my graden. And it's choking on weeds.
• HEre's another evaluation about myself. I put too much emphasis on small stuff. I guess I jsut can't do this slogan: "Dont sweat the small stuff"
• Realization No. 3: I'm going too fast. I need to slow down. There's nothing worse than rushing things.
• And I've been putting off TOO MANY OBLIGATIONS FOR THE WRONG REASONS.
  

SOME CHANGES

• HEnceforth, I shall start focusing more on my studies.
• Henceforth, I shall not put off obligations and other important stuff just for the sake of being with my barkada.
• Henceforth, I shall not take things too heavily, and I shall try to approach things with a smile and a hope.
• Henceforth, I shall strive to be my true self.
• Henceforth, I shall not be ashamed of being who I am.
• Henceforth, I shall not let others' opinions dictate me.

QUOTE THAT STRUCK ME JUST NOW:

"BE WHO YOU ARE, SAY HOW YOU FEEL, 'CAUSE THE ONES THAT MIND DON'T MATTER, AND THE ONES THAT MATTER DON'T MIND." - Dr. Seuss

THE SPILLING OF STUFF:

• All right. Just to make things clear, I jsut wanted to get this out in the open. Please read my disclaimer of why I'm doing this. I jsut can't shut up anymore, and I need an outlet for this.
• First up.. Love. I've decided that I'm going too fast and I need to slow down. When it's my time to love someone, I will know. Until then, I'm not going to be pursuing anyone.
• Riva: One word can describe her. CONTRADICTION. She's really fun to be with. Conversely, she's not fun to be with when she keeps ignoring you, maybe unconsciously or consciously, but ignoring you all the same. She's fun to talk to. Conversely, she's not fun to talk to when she cuts the conversation abruptly, or when you expect some sort of acknowledgment but instead, you are met with a blank stare. OR a blank cellphone screen. I don't know if she's like this with other people, or just with a select few. I hope it's not because she sees me as a "boylet", to take a leaf out of her dictionary of terms. Also, I soemtimes get annoyed whenever I speak up about something and she starts to go, "Hindi, ganun yan, Mali ka blah blah." Or something to that effect. As if her view on things is a matter of fact and not opinion. But still... I don't know why, but even with these faults, I still think of her as one of my true friends. I think it's maybe it's because one of the things about friendships is that you are willing to accept a friend, even with warts and all.
• Chris: I don't know.. Chris truly cares about his friends. But sometimes.. I get the feeling there's so much I don't know about his personality. He's kind of insensitive at times. And I feel a bit put out whenever he's all smiles about someone he dislikes secretly. I'd rather he just tell whomever he doesn't like, that he doesn't like them. Instead of smiling. I don't know.. I;m guilty of this attitude myself. And.. This may seem petty but.. I get irritated that he put down other people's joke as "corny" and "too pilosopo" and "Really corny". But then when he cracks corny jokes, which is often, he seems to think that everyone should laugh along with him. >_<>
• Cheffrey: I don't know about her.. Today was the first time I seriously considered her personality as someone younger. Today was the first that I thought of her as younger than me. Because, she talks and acts in contradictions. She can be very noisy at times, then just as suddenly shouts "Quiet! Don't be too noisy!" I have experienced so many other instances of this type.. I just don't get her, you know. But she's a good friend.
  
• My barkada: I think some, not all, of my friends in my barkada find it hard to concentrate whenever I'm the one talking or whatever. Sometimes I feel like I'm the weak link in the group, you know, like I'm the expendable one. Yep, expendable I am. That's why I felt really appreciated when my ideas were heard during my weekend with other star scholars. I often feel out-of-place in my group. But the surprising thing is, no matter how ignored I might feel, I would still be with them whenever, and wherever. I guess my friend Wale's statement can sum this up. "When things are down, they're really down. But when things are up, they are REALLY REALLY UP," to paraphrase her.
• I know, I know, I'm being quite frank with all that I'm saying. It's jsut that these things have been eating at me for weeks. And my only release is this blog. Before I can reevaluate and change aspects of my life, I have to get these off my chest first.

I have to eat now.