Jamming Sessions

Sound of the day: Drumbeats.

My ears are still ringing from the jam session we had in the afternoon at Wale's house.

We were supposed to work on our midterm report for Filipino 1.. But er... Hehe.. Well you know, these things happen..

We DID watch an episode of WOWOWEE and Pera o Bayong though.. We just didn't do anything else afterwards XD

Actually, it was only in the early and latter part where I felt I enjoyed myself much.

Wale's giniling is DELICIOUS. Haha.. YUm yum yum.. Really. I enjoyed that part at least. XD

After that, something happened. I dunno. Suddenly I felt qutie lonely.

Just one of my moods? I don't know, everyone except Wale seemed to ignore me. Oh well.. Since my depression week was still fresh on my mind, I decided to roll with the punches. I guess what was going through my mind was, "Maybe it's all in my mind."

Haha.. One thing I've learned since "Depression Week": Doing nothing and moping around asin't gonna change a thing. Everyone (including me) is too self-centered to notice that they're accidentally hurting someone in the process. Yes, I am guilty of that too. I'm as human as the rest of the world.

Yes. I've decided to treat my situation as being accidental, not on purpose.

And guess what? It worked. Somehow.

Although my friends still don't know what they've been doing to me, I've stopped being depressed, and instead I became more proactive.

Oh yeah.. I also learned one more thing: Nothing (except maybe your one true love, [mushy mood?]) can replace your high school best friends. Nothing.

I learned to play one.. er.. whatever-you-call-it on the guitar. Now I have something to show when someone brings a guitar harhar...

We went back to the LRT station at around 6:30 pm. COnsidering everything, I had a fun time.

THanks to Wale, for putting up with us in her home harhar =D And a personal thanks from me for being one of a precious few whom I can always count on to be ready to listen to me. XD

See? I'm so self-centered.

~~Prayer Request: Please pray for Riva's foot and Riva's mom~~

By the way, I'm a born-again Christian. And proud of it.

Oh yeah.. another P.S. haha.. I keep jumbling around the thoughts in my head.

Last night's prayer really helped me a lot regarding my problems. Plus reading A Purpose-Driven Life also gave me some insights. The chapter I read was on life's purpose. I suppose it was one of God's ways of answering me.

Pray- It works.

The Lost Entry

One cloudy, overcast day, an inquisitive boy was walking along the beach, playing with his little red toy boat. He was having so much fun playing that he didn't notice the floating bottle in the water near him.

Suddenly, the bottle emitted a bright white glow that half-blinded the boy. When he finally regained his senses, his red toy boat was gone and he was clutching the bottle in his hands. He looked inside the moss-covered bottle and, to his astonishment, he saw some rolls of parchment. Of course, he didn't know what parchment was, but being the inquisitive boy that he is, he opened the bottle to find out what the heck those things that look like paper were. After opening the bottle, he unrolled the parchment and saw to his surprise that they were pages of an entry of a journal, made by someone named "Jensen".

*Cue opening theme*
*Cue title "The Lost Entry"*
*Fade to black*
*Scroll words*

.........

June 24, 2005, FRIDAY.

Dear journal,

Today was the day of the first visit of any of my friends to my house. If you were living, you'd know that I live in a far away place, far from civilization, and the noise of city life.

Actually, if you were living, you'd also know that I'm exagerrating. I live in the 'burbs of an industrial city called Valenzuela.

Well anyway, this is the first time any of my friends came to visit.

My college buds, Riva and Chris, were the lucky winners. How lucky? I don't know. They told me that they felt sleepy in my house. Sigh. You can't be winning all the time.

In my case, I can't be winning ANYtime.

But I think we had some fun.. Considering they found my home "sleepy."

We spent the morning on my PC, looking at pictures and talking to Waway on the phone. Oh the miracles of 24/7 call and text unlimited. We played on my GBA emulator for a while, playing games like Spongebob Squarepants, Dora the Explorer, and Power Rangers Wild Force. We had a barrel of laughs over those games.. Ahh the innocence of childhood.

Then Riva showed me this addictingly fun site called iSketch. And that was the start of what can only be called as "addiction mode" for me.

We also looked at pics from my high school days, and from Riva's high school days. Those were the days indeed. I miss my high school friends.

Then we ate carbonara and chicken for lunch. And talked. And talked. And talked.

After our talk, and talk, and talk, we decided to watch something on the TV. We ended up watching a VCD of "God of Gamblers," a comedy about casino players who had magic powers :D Riva ended up actually sleeping. Haha.. I guess the house always wins in the end.. Pun intended.

We went back to the LRT station at around 3:45 pm. THus ended the baptism of my house.

Truly (also madly and deeply) yours,
Jensen xoxoxoxo

Drum MAchine

I'm writing this at Wale's house.. The drum is sooooooo loud weeeee...

Will write more later :D

Tired

I lost my cell phone today. It was pickpocketed at the LRT.

Otherwise, I had a fun day. It's always fun when you're with friends like mine.

I'm tired tonight.. I can't really write that much, cause ever since I've come home, I've bee bombarded with lectures, accusations, lessons, Blah BLAH BLAH....

SO in essence, my day today was....

---- low

++++ HIGH

---- low

A Bit of Good News..

Update: Riva's mom is in stable condition.. I guess praying really does work wonders.

Right now, I'm bored at home.

That's why I want to share this site with everyone..

iSketch.net

Great great great fun! It's played like this: One player draws a picture for a word, then the other players try to guess the word.

YOu need to download showckwave player for it.. But let me tell you. It's worth it.

Addicting. XP

Reunion and Red Alerts

Yesterday, I and my high school buddies had a bit of a reunion.

It was a send-off pool party for our mate Kevin, who will be off to the Land Down Under. Too bad only a relative few of us made it, although we had a fun time. The party was supposedly at around 1pm.. But it started at more like 2 in the afternoon. Jon, Awi, By, Dan, Jeremy, Alvene, Vibson, Kelvin, Ja, Gi, and of course, Kevin was there.

I missed them.

I missed the times when there was no pretense, no pretending.. It was fun reliving the days when we just hanged out, chatted, cracked jokes, and generally basking in each other's company as friends. And of course, talking about the different paths our lives had taken.

The er... "swimming" ended at around 5, but not after we had given a swimming "exhibition". Haha.. I will have to get a copy of that recording.. Definitely a moment I'll remember.

After the party, I went to Jon's house while waiting for my dad to fetch me. I really missed his house. Lol.. We had a lot of fun time there.

Here's to hoping we'll have more get-togethers with more people.. *Ahem* Crissa *Ahem* XD

-0---------0-

But here's the twist:

While I was off having fun, my friend Riva's mom was having an operation. I learned from Riva that it was not going well, and that dampened the happy mood I was in. It reminded me that not everyone is always having fun or sharing laughter. She asked me to pray for her mom, and so I did.

Right now, it's been about half a day since I've heard any word from her, and I'm still praying.

Just remember Riva, you'll always have me and your friends to lean on and to give you support. We'll always be there for you.

Disclaimer

Now, I know that I've posted some er... "controversial" stuff in my blog..

But.. This was supposed to be a private for-me-only thingy that.. er... "got out"

So.. I dunno.. I guess what I want to say is that each entry should be taken into context. Which simply means that my mood in one entry might be totally different in another. I don't know how my friends put up with me. >.<

No matter what happens, I'll always treasure the special people in my life. Even if sometimes, I don't seem to appreciate them. Sorry guys.

BUT.. This blog is where I throw all my thoughts so.. I shall continue writing the way I am writing now. Because, in a way, my blog acts like a catharsis (look it up :P) which helps me review my day, my actions, my daily life..

If anyone read this.. er.. thanks.

Gawsh... Visitors in the House!

Today, I had no classes. Manila Day. XD

And today, I invited my 2 friends Riva and Chris to go to my house. And we had a lot of fun!

There ya go.. I'm not in the mood to write in my blog... Which is a first, actually.

Remind me to write more about my first visit from friends next time. :o

Change

For a change, I don't feel depressed today.

In fact, I'm actually excited because tomorrow's the first time my friends will be coming over.. College friends that is. Riva and Chris to be exact. Now if only I can stop worrying about tomorrow...

The issues I've written of over the last few days have yet to be resolved. But.. I don't think moping around will resolve anything. That's why I'm making myself some resolutions:

• That I will not mope around anymore.
• That any problems I have, I will pray for them.
• That I will not magnify any small problem.. thingy.. Whatever. Words fail me.

Today was also SWIMMING day!! Wee... As usual, I had loads of fun doing "acrobatic" stuff in the pool. XD

Hrrmm... What else.. Today seemed kinda.. normal.

Wow, normal. Now that's something I'm hearing less and less often.

Shout outs to:

• Crissa: Thanks so much for your support! Miss ya!
• Awi: Pare, thanks sa alternate advice mo :D !!! Miss ya rin!
• Jon: La lang miss rin kita!
• By: Hoy galingan mo scholar!
• Ja: Bat dka na nag oonline sa ym? Text nalang kita!
• Iba pang High School buds ko: Miss you all!!!!!!!!!!!
• Omar: Thanks sa advice pare!
• Wale: Thanks sa comedy mare! =))
  
• Chris: See ya tomorrow dude :o
• Riva: See ya tomorrow dude :o
• Riva's friends: Er.. la lang hahahahahahahahaha.....
• Everyone who's reading: Er.. Thanks for reading? XD
  

Silvertoes

This is the title of a Parokya ni Edgar song..
And that song is what happens when there's nothing left but frustration.

Today: Mixed bag.

I've forgotten some of what I planned to write. Sigh.. That's memory for you.

So I've decided to split my post into Bad Stuff and Good Stuff. Since today was incredible in the sense that Nice stuff = Not-so-nice stuff. Leaving me depressed tonight.

The Bad________________

• This evening, I became invisible man again.
• This evening, if I wasn't invisible man, then I was odd-man-out man.
  
• This evening, I heard people backtabbing a person they've just said goodbye to,
• This evening, I didn't have the guts to speak out for the backstabbed guy. I am such a wuss.
• This evening, I started to wonder if my friends were my friends.
• This evening, I began to review my college life.
• And finally..
• This evening, I got my pants wet, and they began to smell bad because they weren't properly washed.

The Good_______________

• Today, I decided to do what Omar told me.
• Today, I decided to treat every obstacle as a challenge.
• Today, It almost worked. Although it ran out of steam as you can see above.
• Today, I didn't spend any money.
• Today, I went to a frosh welcome party by the Campus Crusade for Christ. I think I've found my spiritual growth at last. I want to be active in CCC. It would be nice to grow more in God's Word.
• Today, I met Riva's Stephenian friends, Jamie, Jacqueline, and Hannah. They're very nice people. Hannah's really friendly. I wanna know her better. Not in a romantic sort of way. Just as a friend to talk to. Lord knows I need all the friends I can get.
• Today, I had a lot of fun, at least in the daylight.

I had so many things to say. I think I better keep a hardcopy journal so I won't forget anything.

Word for today: "Split"

Frustration

I was supposed to post this yesterday, but.. my internet connection expired, and so.. I was stuck with no internet...

I've reread my post and decided to censor some stuff.. I don't think it's fit to post some of this in a public blog.. I will still have the uncensored file in my pc though.. Now if anyone would visit...

So... Here goes:

I've decided not to lurk in depression anymore... Thanks to a "heart-to-heart" talk with my friend Omar, I've decided to accept how things are right now. And instead of just moping around like an idiot, I would take everything as a challenge! After all, nothing in life is fair, nor easy. Anyways.. being depressed is no fun at all. And it's getting to be.. well.. boring XD Thanks very much to you, Dr. Love :D

Okay enough about the smiles...

------------------------

It's weird you know.. How you think some people are close to you. You've been hanging out with them early.. And you share some of your secrets with them. You think you are close with them.. And when they encounter bumps on their life.. And you stand there ready to listen, to sympathize, to comfort...

While you stand there waiting to show your support, waiting to be A FRIEND,

They go find someone else to cry on.
They go find someone else to be their support.
They go find someone else to share their problems with.

Makes me feel like a crap-awful friend.

-------------------------

It seems that I have superpowers! I can actually turn invisible! Yes, believe it! Everytime I open my mouth to ask a question, I fade away. Sigh.. It seems that no one can hear me but myself, not even my "barkada". Like this morning, *censored stuff* . I decided to ask again to be sure.. And sure enough, I had turned invisible! Wonderful. VERY. And after that they had the nerve to ask why I WAS SO QUIET ALL OF A SUDDEN. Must be because I was invisible. *Roll eyes*

And that's not all.. I also turned invisible in our BASICON class. It seemed that everytime I *censored stuff*. Guess spontaneous invisibility has its lows, huh? *roll eyes 2nd time*

This ritual of invisibility continued on and off for the whole day.

I guess I'll always play the role of the guy no one notices but is part of the group anyways.

2ND RANT***

*censored intro*

First I started. +1. Then another +1. Then another +1.
If anyone's counting.. that makes three. Then subtract me from this morning.
3-1=2
So what happened was.. I like.. disappeared from the equation. And "2" are now in the equation I started. Incredible no? Sigh.

Repeat to self: "CHALLENGE!CHALLENGE! TAKE IT AS A CHALLENGE!"

3rd Rant***

This is a somewhat personal rant, although the past two rants were also personal. I meant that this is directed at a single person whom I'll call Guy. Geez.. It feels like I'm backstabbing.

So I won't be too specific.

Here's my rant: Why is it that he's SOOOOO self-centered? *censored stuff*

----------------------------------

*takes a deep breath*

Remember what Omar said. Take everything as a challenge.

Sounds SOOOOOO good. Yet so hard to do.

Sometimes, I think I'm hanging out, or "trying to" hang out with the wrong people. Come to think of it, I really am, hanging out. Hanging outside the group. Sometimes I think I'm not really with my friends.

Sighing a lot these days, I am.

~A LITTLE FUN IS SERVED~

Aside from the melodrama of my everyday life, I also had an interview with The La Sallian. I went in expecting nothing, because I don't do well in interviews. And I think I did normally, which means quite bad.

But I had a little fun in the end, as they briefed me on my "applicant initiation". I had to sing a song in front of the staff. Welll.. I sang "As Long As You Love Me" by the Backstreet Boys. Haha.. My face turned red afterwards.. But I also felt more relaxed.. Weird, huh?

And that's my life for today. (Note: yesterday)

'Til next time... Up up and...
Invisible away!

Appended.

It's so hard to hate a nice person.

Sigh.. I just can't.... hate....

Oh well. That's the mystery of life.

I think I've now moved on and overcome the reason for my depression. I think.
I guess I'll just have to hope and pray that when the time comes.. Everything will turn out all right.

Zzzzzz...

Kinda sleepy tonight.. Don't know why.. Maybe it was because I slept later than usual last night.. Had fun though :D

I got this article from Ralph.. And I was touched.. Although I don't think I'm a nice guy XD

****************************************
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bleeping about what buttholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bleeps. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete butt now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
**************************************************

Orange with Stripes of White

I watched my third movie of the day, Finding Nemo..

2nd time I watched it.. And still entertaining.

I just wish that more happy endings exist out of the movie screen.. :o

Wimby, anyone?

Stuck at home for today.

Mood: Depressed. Lonely.

I just learned that some of my friends went to G4 and watched Batman... Darn! X_X That's 2 good movies I've missed watching.. Mr. And Mrs. Smith and Batman Begins..

After eating a quick lunch of noodles.. I decided to go on a movie binge myself.. I got a can of dalandan soda and corniks and went to turn on the TV. I decided to watch a movie on Star Movies first.. It was actually a comedy starring an actor I liked but don't know the name... Haha.. Well it was okay..

Then I took out the DVD of Wimbledon that I've been putting off watching. And then my afternoon changed...

Although the DVD was pirated :o and although I don't usually like these kinds of romantic comedies.. Oh alright.. I like watching romantic comedies sometimes... *_* Although I had no reason to expect anything special from the movie, it became one of my most memorable film experiences..

Wimbledon's basically about a washed-up tennis player playing his last tournament, and how he meets and falls for a rising female tennis star, and finding out that love gives him something to play for.

Tom (Was it his name? Well let's just say it's Tom.. whatever) first meets Lizzie when he is accidentally given the key to her hotel room.. And he finds here showering.. Haha.. And that was actually the only good part in the opening scenes of the movie.

The thing is.. Lizzie's kind of a fling-type of person. But then she starts falling for Tom. And while Tom is playing his best because of his falling in love.. Lizzie loses a match and drops out of Wimbledon because of her relationship with Tom..

In the typical ending though, Tom pours his heart out to Lizzie in an interview, Lizzie forgives him, he then wins at Wimbledon because of her encouragment. What happened to me while watching, was not typical. At all.

Can you believe that during the last 30 minutes of Wimbledon, I actually cried the whole time?! YEs, it's true.. I can count how many times I've cried because of a movie.. Around 2 times only I think.. And no cry which approached 30 minutes.. Until now.

Was it the fairytale ending?
The deus ex machina of love triumphing presented in the film?
The feeling that everythingl will be all right in the end?
The absence of the above in my life? :(

Sigh.. I just kept crying scene after scene. It felt as though the movie was speaking directly to me. And it felt as if everything that happened in the movie was the exact opposite of my life right now..

Mostly, I cried because I hoped that the things that happened to TOm would happen to me someday..

Was it true that hope was the most precious thing we have left in Pandora's Box? Hope cuts both ways, believe me. Hope is a double-edged sword, yadda yadda..

But it was good that I cried.. I finally had an outlet for all the depression I've been feeling for the past few days. Although I'm still not over this mood.. Crying had been an escape.. Especially since I'm not really prone to fits of crying..

And that's how Wimbledon will be engraved in my memory...

Yawn...

While everyone's in McDo bonding... I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and no one to talk to..

And with less than 6 hours left on my prepaid internet connection.. Darn...

Here I Am..

Here I Am.. Overdramatizing again..

My gawsh... And now I'm talking like a gay guy..

O Geez...

And as if all the self-crucifixion I've been giving myself has not been enough...

I've stumbled into something.. so...

*crush**kaboom**paininchest**agh*

That was my heart....

Untitled

Am taking a leaf out of Simple Plan's song book with my own "Untitled" XD

Well.. Today.

The Amazing Race started with only me as the sole contestant.. How do you like that? Instant 1st place! Haha... Well.. I had a lot of fun trying to find Riva's house.. Twas a great adventure indeed. Although it was H-O-T! Hehe.. I just realized it''s been so lng since I've been to that part of the city. So much has changed. So much that I thought the Metropolitan Hospital was a hotel :o Such high-class standards for a hospital.. Nice!

The map was very detailed. Thanks! Haha.. "striped blue building" XD But.. after a few minutes walk, I finally came to the checkpoint and guess what? I got 1st place!!! Hahaha... But on the way up to the 4th floor.. I stopped on the wrong floor. And almost rang the doorbell before finding out that I was only on the 3rd floor.. Such idiocity haha..

Riva's house was cool.. It was the type of place you could live in.. Cozy.. comfy.. And she has 2 cute pets :D HEr dog Penny kept barking at me :O Well.. And her cat Mango just stared at me with those big bwootiful eyes XD

After that, we took a way through the hospital to get back to the LRT station.. Ahhh.. fresh cool airconditioning...

**Random stat: Got all sweaty Three (3) times during the whole day. Good thing I don't smell like.... XD

Okay.. ALGTRIG class was more of the same ho-humming boredom. But our next class was cancelled! Leaving us with around 2 hours of free time.. And we used 1 hour to have a bonding session! It was supposed to be horror story time.. But I think we ended up laughing more than we were gasping... Haha.. Fun fun fun..

Then came an episode of not-so-funness...

Don't want to relive it anymore.. But the gist of it was.. I got left behind.. again... :( Oh well...

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful.. I didn't get to watch a movie with my blckmates due to the time..

But one good note: I passed the first stage of application to the La Sallian! Now only the interview is left... Please let me pass... I really regret the Malate thing...

Then tonight... was actually kinda fun.. Chatted with Ivan who is surprisingly.. sentimental. Ivan of all people haha...

And that's my life for today.
--------------------------------
"Side Quest"

Okay... I'm gonna go all mushy right now...

I'm falling in love.

Okay there. I admit it.. I think this is my first time.. Because I've never felt this way before ya know? I think I'm just now beginning to know what the difference is between love and puppy-love.. All these years..

But the fact of the matter is.. The thoughts and feelings I have are so... MIXED UP is the best description I can say..

One moment, my heart beats so fast and I'm floating in the air.. The next, I'm crashing down to reality.. Soaring and diving.. That's my state now..

Perhaps it all seems familiar to other people >_< But it seems soooo new to me..

50% of the time, I love this state.. The other 50%.. I wish I'd never heard of girls.. X_X

Another way to describe me is.. WORRIED. These days, I keep worrying about everything.. Which leads to depression.. Sigh..

I worry whether I still have a chance..
I worry about what I do or say in front of her..

Most of all, I worry about 2 things..
Who am I to hope for a future together.. And...
Will she ever think of me as more than a friend?

Sighs...

*End of mushy parts*

You can go puke now by the way.. That or rant in your own blog on how you spent a few minutes reading a soap opera..

Bye bye.

Food of the Day: Sandwich

Today was a sandwich.
A sandwich with two buns of happiness and a meat of depression.

This morning was supposed to be the Amazing Race day.. Too bad traffic changed all that :( But anyways, we decided to try again tomorrow, this time armed with a personally-drawn map by Riva herself. :o A map that was like a jigsaw puzzle haha.. Thus it stands. Tomorrow. The. Amazing. Race. XD

Then we got on the LRT to La Salle.. And met a nice guard on the way. XD If you ever come across this site... Thanks mister guard! XD

Then we had PE!!!! SWIMMING! YOWZA! Love to swim... I liked the drills today better than last week.. And free time was so much fun. We had er... "synchronized swimming" haha.. Looked more like "6 idiots-swimming-in-a-circle" XD

Lunch was at Yellow Cab.. My first taste of pizza there and most certainly not my last.. Yum yum.. And my friend Chris paid for my share.. Awww... THANKS!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! EVERYDAY!!! XD

*END OF HAPPY BUN 1*

Now.. came..
The meat of depression.
The loss of happiness..

Good thing temporary only..

It was a freak mixture of hyper-sensitivity, tiredness, sore eyes, and the heat.. Sigh.. I don't know why I felt so down during our COMPRO1 and FILIPI1 classes.. I must be listening to too much depressing OPM...

Well good thing I got over it..

*END OF MEAT*

And finally.. we have the last bun of happiness.. Lots of laughter. XD You know who you are..

Thanks for making me smile at the end of the day..

X_X_X_X

Mood: Slightly Depressed

Today.. was a tiring day.
Also a tedious day.
Also a burdensome day.
Also a disappointing day.
Also a... day.

Everything seemed fine this morning.. I had a fun time with my friends.. I finally got a CD full of OPM mp3's from my generous friend, Wale :D (Thanks a lot..!!)

Listening to Burnout as I type this down.

Even the boredom of ALGTRIG and BASICON was alleviated by the corny jokes we made. XD But alas.. All was not meant to be happy today. At least that's how I felt today. Or maybe I'm just too sensitive or something.. Paranoid maybe?

Well anyway.. I think it started going downhill from lunch..

You know.. I never should've posted my blog's site at my YM.. I can't talk freely now... :(

Well let's just say that I felt really, really, really lonely today. Perhaps I shall elaborate more in the future when (hopefully) I can look back and say.. "Everything turned out fine."

---------------------------------------------

And THAT'S the main reason I feel depressed today.

However, not everything's due to loneliness.. A few other stuff intruded on my dark, brooding thoughts.. Like the fact that I didn't get to take the exam for Malate, a kind of literary-works publication which I really wanted to join. :( Maybe next year.. or term...

Add to that the 3-6pm boiling of our brains in COMPRO1 laboratory... Sigh.. Well, I like programming.. But I just got frustrated when the code I made for about 30 minutes didn't work >.<>.< Sigh..

And my dad's now angry because he thinks I use the PC too often.
HELLO! I'M A COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR!!!!!

And right now, my dad's shouting at the whole family.. Geez...

In times like these.. The best things to do are to pray and to hope for the best..

Listening to the dying sounds of Bakit Ba by Siakol.

'Til next time...

The Follies Of The Mind

The mind is weird. I'm saying this point-blank. It's either that or I'm insane.

Well anyways.. Today, Sunday, was just like any other Sunday I've experienced. Nothing exciting happened.

What I did today:

• Go to an "awarding ceremony."
• Waited for 2-3 hours for the whole thing to end.
• Went to Glorietta 4 and got a lot of brochures about laptops I don't think I'll ever have.
• Went home early about 4pm.
• Started reading a Star Wars fanfic about the journal of Darth Vader.

You know.. Reading Darth Boy's journal was an interesting experience. I had a glimpse of what it felt like to be the so-called "enemy." Not to mention Darth Boy's got a funny side.. I'm getting to engrossed in the Star Wars mythology. Stopping now.

The past few days have been turbulent. I mean my inner self was turbulent the past few days. Whatever. I keep thinking of conflicting things. Another whatever. A more thorough discourse once I get that "work" vibe.. Right now I just wanna sit and chill.. Porblem with that though, is that it's BORING.

Insane. I have SO much to write about. But I can't express it right now. My mind feels like it's overflowing...

On a side note, not everything was boring. Thankfully, I had a pretty fun textmate.. Thanks XD

In a way, things have really been going right for me now. Now I'm worried they'll stop going right. Am I rambling too much? Maybe one of these days I'll find a few hours free time and write everyhing I've wanted to say...

For now, let me just finish the last part of my dream.. It's really kinda depressing for me at least.. that's why I didn't have the heart to complete it in my earlier blog..

------------ Part 2 of Dream Sequence -------------
So the prof started talking about the girls in the class and how beautiful they all were or something.. Then he talked about Girl in particular and how many guys had crushes on her. Then the prof dropped the bomb. Girl already had a boyfriend, the guy I stood up with. The prof then proceeded to talk about their "history". What a way to crush a guy. Sigh.. anyways, he said that the 2 have already been together for 2 weeks (?) and that she was smitten because of a song he wrote about.. Chinese history (???) for crying out loud.. Then the prof explained that he was just letting us know so that we won't waste our time trying.. X_X

Geez, dreams hurt.

WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD. I don't have the heart to type all the things that happened afterwards. they're all irrelevant anyways. I hate my brain for giving me that dream.

But I dreamed that about 2 weeks ago.. and thankfully... thankfully... :D

Ciao!

This Just In...

This just in..

I'm not allowed to go watch a movie on Monday.. BECAUSE THERE WILL BE A COUP DE ETAT ON MONDAY!!! RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mini-Poems (Chocettes)

I've spent so much time lately;

Meeting your soul-piercing stares;
Intensely engrossed in our conversations;
Seeking the warmth of your hand;
Searching for you...

Yet you are not here, and I'm
Often wishing that you are
Underneath the skies with me.

---------------------------------

Some days are full of light and joy,
And some everything seems so bright; but some days...
Dark and gloomy they seem, indeed.

---------------------------------

Coming back to an empty home-
Reaching for a non-existent hand-
You tore my heart in two. :(

---------------------------------

I wrote these poems when I was depressed. =(

Poems

I'll just post some poems I wrote...

Still A lonely Day

Found you the other day

At the middle of my way.

Silly goose that I am, didn’t see you

Calling out for me to stay…

I was blind, I was stupid, ‘cause

Never did I once realize

A simple truth about you-

That you were always right in front of me.

Instead of could’ve been, I

Never saw the chance I had, and

Going on with my lonely walk, left without you…

Fascinating.

=-------------------=

Illusions

I am wrapped around swirling mists,

Light and shadows fusing, playing tricks,

Creating ghosts and specters that cloak truth

In their ethereal embrace.

I am a still pond on a windless day,

My unbroken surface reflecting the azure sky,

The crimson sunset, the coal-black night;

While truth lies underneath- hidden. Unseen.

Then a ray of light pierces swirling mists;

Then a pebble thrown ripples the still pond;

I break free from Illusion’s grasp-

My true self lies revealed.

=------------------=

The Battle

The lumbering knight stood tall before me,

His eyes a piercing crimson;

Our swords pull free of their scabbard prison,

And whistle through the air with glee;

I slash, he parries – weapons kiss.

Whistles change to peals of thunder

As heavy weapons smite each other;

Mighty blows strike steel-clad bodies

As savage passions beg for release;

I whirled, he advanced – we danced.

The hall rings with the echoes of battle –

The roar of weapons clashing,

The rising ruckus of frenzied fighting;

Till at last the noises settle;

He tires, I tire – we perspire.

Our whirling duel nears its end,

When my ferocious slashes rend

Through my foe’s flesh, and through his heart;

The battle stops – I’ve played my part.

And I stop reading, close the book –

And rest.

3 out of the 5 poems I need to apply for Malate...

-----------------------------------

Mini-poems ( Just like Chocettes :D)

NEXT POST! XD

Nothing, Nothing...

Sana ay makilala ka muli.. Tulad ng Dati..
Halika at lumapit ka muli.. Tulad ng dati..
- Tulad Ng Dati (The Dawn)

This song is stuck in my head. Is it because of love? XD XD

Whatever.
Today was the day I think I got cramps from writing. I had an applicant's exam scheduled. I wanted to write for the school paper, The LaSallian. I applied for the Menagerie section which was the features section.. And I don't think I did a very good job during my exam. I HATE writing stuff under pressure.. Maybe I'm not cut out to be a writer :(

We have plans to go watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith on Monday.. Hopefully, I will be allowed to go.. :(

I'm bored at home.

A Look Back

Incredible.. 3 weeks have passed since the start of my stay at La Salle. And incredibly.. Things have changed quite fast. :O

Looking back at my previous entries was quite.. entertaining haha...

I read my thoughts on my LPEP day and i was surprised to find out that BOTH cheffrey and dax became part of my barkada.. And about those comments about cute girls.. I plead temporary blindness.. Blindness due to the shining beauty of my blockmates :D Especially one in particular ;))

3 weeks in DLSU. So what happened?

I met new friends, got bored my new classes, got rid of old bad habits, and made a few new ones :o

That's the synopsis. Here's a slightly longer version.

I don't like to dwell much on my boring classes, but here's a few thoughts on them:

• My FILIPI1 class taught me a lot of green stuff. (Figures.. DLSU is green, after all XD, okay i'm corny XD XD XD)
• I'm starting to enjoy COMPRO1 because we finally get some hands-on programming work.
• Other than that and a few very small instances.. BORINGGGGGG...

I want to talk about my new friends. They are sso much fun to be with!!!!!!!!! I don't think college would be college without my barkada.. Here are some mini-testimonials from me to you guys :D (Kasi hassle sa friendster e :D:D)

RIVA - What can I say? She's almost perfect XD Almost = No one is perfect.. No one who's human anyway :D She's a great friend, fun to talk to and be with.. Laughs all the time.. And so far.. she's the only one who laughs at every one of my jokes (yes even the corny ones) :( Thanks a lot :D Not only that, she's pretty pretty too :D

CHRIS - Nice guy siya... as in super nice! He's sooo helpful at MABAIT. If he's your friend, he'll never let you down. Not only that, he's very observant and he's sooo noisy, even though at first he seems silent. He knows a helluva lot of jokes too . And he's the crush ng bayan XD Bottomline: The best!

CHEFFREY- She's a great friend, and she sticks for what she believes in. She often has a lot of extra info to sgare, and she has a library of corny jokes too! Good thing for me, cause I'm corny :D She's always willing to help out. But she doesn't know how to say goodbye ;)) And that's what we''ve been teaching her :D

DAX - Good friend and Christian. Need I say more? Of course I do! He's a tennis addict, and likes taking photos (just found this out ~_~ ) And he loves to eat. I mean LOVES to eat XD The most common phrase I've heard from him is.. "GUTOM NA AKO!" XD And he's the second crush ng bayan of our block! Weeee...

To the rest of my barkada.. KEL THE "INNOCENT"! TORI THE PRON! LOUIE "LITTLE LOULOU!!! OMAR DA SONGER! MIKO DA PEP GUY! FRANCIS DA SENSEI!!!! ASTEEEG Kayo!!!!!!!!!!