Frustration

I was supposed to post this yesterday, but.. my internet connection expired, and so.. I was stuck with no internet...

I've reread my post and decided to censor some stuff.. I don't think it's fit to post some of this in a public blog.. I will still have the uncensored file in my pc though.. Now if anyone would visit...

So... Here goes:

I've decided not to lurk in depression anymore... Thanks to a "heart-to-heart" talk with my friend Omar, I've decided to accept how things are right now. And instead of just moping around like an idiot, I would take everything as a challenge! After all, nothing in life is fair, nor easy. Anyways.. being depressed is no fun at all. And it's getting to be.. well.. boring XD Thanks very much to you, Dr. Love :D

Okay enough about the smiles...

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It's weird you know.. How you think some people are close to you. You've been hanging out with them early.. And you share some of your secrets with them. You think you are close with them.. And when they encounter bumps on their life.. And you stand there ready to listen, to sympathize, to comfort...

While you stand there waiting to show your support, waiting to be A FRIEND,

They go find someone else to cry on.
They go find someone else to be their support.
They go find someone else to share their problems with.

Makes me feel like a crap-awful friend.

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It seems that I have superpowers! I can actually turn invisible! Yes, believe it! Everytime I open my mouth to ask a question, I fade away. Sigh.. It seems that no one can hear me but myself, not even my "barkada". Like this morning, *censored stuff* . I decided to ask again to be sure.. And sure enough, I had turned invisible! Wonderful. VERY. And after that they had the nerve to ask why I WAS SO QUIET ALL OF A SUDDEN. Must be because I was invisible. *Roll eyes*

And that's not all.. I also turned invisible in our BASICON class. It seemed that everytime I *censored stuff*. Guess spontaneous invisibility has its lows, huh? *roll eyes 2nd time*

This ritual of invisibility continued on and off for the whole day.

I guess I'll always play the role of the guy no one notices but is part of the group anyways.

2ND RANT***

*censored intro*

First I started. +1. Then another +1. Then another +1.
If anyone's counting.. that makes three. Then subtract me from this morning.
3-1=2
So what happened was.. I like.. disappeared from the equation. And "2" are now in the equation I started. Incredible no? Sigh.

Repeat to self: "CHALLENGE!CHALLENGE! TAKE IT AS A CHALLENGE!"

3rd Rant***

This is a somewhat personal rant, although the past two rants were also personal. I meant that this is directed at a single person whom I'll call Guy. Geez.. It feels like I'm backstabbing.

So I won't be too specific.

Here's my rant: Why is it that he's SOOOOO self-centered? *censored stuff*

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*takes a deep breath*

Remember what Omar said. Take everything as a challenge.

Sounds SOOOOOO good. Yet so hard to do.

Sometimes, I think I'm hanging out, or "trying to" hang out with the wrong people. Come to think of it, I really am, hanging out. Hanging outside the group. Sometimes I think I'm not really with my friends.

Sighing a lot these days, I am.

~A LITTLE FUN IS SERVED~

Aside from the melodrama of my everyday life, I also had an interview with The La Sallian. I went in expecting nothing, because I don't do well in interviews. And I think I did normally, which means quite bad.

But I had a little fun in the end, as they briefed me on my "applicant initiation". I had to sing a song in front of the staff. Welll.. I sang "As Long As You Love Me" by the Backstreet Boys. Haha.. My face turned red afterwards.. But I also felt more relaxed.. Weird, huh?

And that's my life for today. (Note: yesterday)

'Til next time... Up up and...
Invisible away!